Why does John Mayer hate me?

I've put up with his odd hair for years. YEARS.

I paid good money to see him in concert. Twice.

The first time, my sister and I saw him in Wallingford at this great little theater. It will always be Oakdale to me!

I think I had the flu, or some strain of something, because I remember wanting to die and not thinking I was going to make it. The show was really great, though, and I felt better a few songs into it.

The second time was in Hartford. It was during the week and there was a lot of traffic. And possibly gunfire. Or maybe just a lot of police cars. Maybe Jessica has a better memory of it.

What I know for sure is that it was 200 degrees with 1000% humidity. It was sticky and gross.

Counting Crows were also on the bill. I remember being grossed out(but not surprised)that Adam was barefoot on stage. He's one of those people(like Cameron Diaz)that just makes me want to scream, "You are filthy! Take a shower. Daily."

Anyway, it was a great show and John was a lot of fun.

Now, flash forward to August 2006 and the first rumblings that John is dating Jessica Simpson. HUH? WHAT? WAIT, WHAT? SERIOUSLY?

So, yesterday I read that John posted a message on his blog: http://www.johnmayer.com/blog#121

A rumor leaked(puhleeze)that he was finally posting about his relationship with the former Mrs. Nick Lachey.

And what we got was him dragging Public Enemy into it.

I doubt Chuck D. would have been happy. And if Flava had any brain cells left, I'm sure he would be pissed.

John, really. We know you are capable of dating women who are best known for their looks(Jennifer Love-Hewitt, anyone?), so this wouldn't be a real stretch. We also know that you and Jessica have new albums coming out, so pulling a straight Tom-and-Katie isn't out of the realm of possibilities.

Just promise me that this won't last long. You are a CT boy, so I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. I want to continue to support you without shame.

At least promise me that before it ends you will ask Jessica's BFF, Ken Paves, to give you a decent haircut.

Even by Connecticut standards, that is one hot mess.