Don't call it a comeback

My apologies to L.L. It's all Affleck's fault!

While doing press for his upcoming film, Hollywoodland, Ben said that he doesn't want to use the c-word(not that one, you sickos)in regards to the film.

Ben, honey, IT IS A COMEBACK. You are finally in a movie that people aren't laughing about, and the mere sight of you isn't causing people to roll their eyes and vomit on themselves.

Now, it wasn't too long ago that Ben had a respectable career and me as a fan. Chasing Amy? Check. Good Will Hunting? Check. Dogma? Check. Saw them, liked them, and thought he was good in them.

I was happy for him and his boyfriend, Matt, when they won the Oscar.

Hell, I even saw Daredevil. Like, paid money to see it in the theater. Granted, it was more due to the fact that I was an Alias fanatic and wanted to support Jennifer Garner, but still.

Then came Bennifer. And there went my patience.

I'm all for celebrity couples who flaunt their good looks and matching fake baked skin on a red carpet. I love that. I'd rather see who someone brings as their date then learn about who they are wearing.

But Bennifer was overkill. Between the lunches at The Ivy and the interview with Pat O'Brien(where they cooked, and everything! They were normal people, just like me! GAG!), I was seconds away from blowing my brains out. Or, at the very least, calling Kevin Smith and begging him to organize an intervention.

Then came the big breakup. YAWN. Did anyone really think these two lunatics would get married? I always had a feeling that Guadalupe, J.Lo's mom, wasn't happy with Ben's love of blackjack tables and strip clubs. Oh, c'mon Lupe! That's so endearing!

Now, this is where it gets interesting(or sad and disturbing). Suddenly, I'm hearing reports that Ben is visiting Jennifer Garner on the set of Elektra. Yes, Sydney Bristow is seen around town with Ben.....when I thought she was still dating Michael Vartan. EXCUSE ME?

Who gives up CIA agent Michael Vaughn for Daredevil? France vs. South Boston? Is she serious?

Well, Bennifer 2.0 has been married for a little over a year now, and they have a daughter named Violet.

Michael Vartan is still gorgeous and single, and in desperate need of my phone number.

I promise not to make you re-enact my favorite Alias scenes, Michael! But I will insist that you speak french and give me the inside scoop on working with Jennifer during Season 5(speaking of which, I found the blooper reel for Season 5 online this weekend. Michael's perpetual "Bitch, please!" look on his face spoke VOLUMES. Loved it!).

So, remember, if you see Hollywoodland, don't call it Ben's comeback.

But do continue to laugh at the rumor that he's wearing a rug. Heh.