John Mayer ups the ante on his foolishness.
Did you know he was on a four-day music cruise to Mexico? And that the ship is called the 'Mayercraft Carrier 2?' Ugh.
John pulled on his whitest short shorts and donned his Captain's hat (channeling a more flamboyant Captain Stubing, perhaps?) and showed off a pair of skinny, hairy legs. Gag.
Jennifer Aniston went from Brad to Vince to John. Life isn't always fair, is it Jenny?
Almost as upsetting as the prospect of being trapped on a boat with John Mayer, is the fact that people spent money to be trapped on a boat with John Mayer. Like, they voluntarily paid money to spend time with him. On a boat. In the ocean.
I feel like a moment of reflection is needed. Followed by a shot of Pepto.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
An assortment of goodies
Rihanna got a gun tattoo from tattoo artist BangBang. Message to Chris Brown?
Mrs. Chris Martin has designed a Fall/Winter 09 collection with French Label ZOEtee. It's called "ZOEtee's Loves Gwyneth" and consists of what I'm sure will be overpriced crap that fits sizes 0-4. The good news is that proceeds from every piece sold will be donated to London's Kids Company, which provides support in various ways to at risk children and young people.
Beyonce's publicist has stated that she has a 19-inch waist. Ummm....no. B, as annoying as she is, has curves that she seems to embrace. I applaud her for having a real body. However, having her publicist come out with this garbage is proof that everything in the entertainment industry comes down to weight. Very sad.
Speaking of, Scarlett Johansson is thinning down for her upcoming role in Iron Man 2. You know. Because she's SO HUGE. Gah. She's almost, but not completely, got the Christina Ricci 'big head on a small body' look going on. Not attractive. Just sad.
Also sad? Lindsay Lohan's film, Labour Pains is premiering on ABC Family before going to dvd. WHAT THE HELL? Oh, Linds. I feel badly for ABC Family.
Maddie is planning to adopt another baby from Malawi. A little girl this time. Some advice on how to choose a baby: whichever one doesn't cry when seeing your scary hands and worked-over face. Good luck.
Mrs. Chris Martin has designed a Fall/Winter 09 collection with French Label ZOEtee. It's called "ZOEtee's Loves Gwyneth" and consists of what I'm sure will be overpriced crap that fits sizes 0-4. The good news is that proceeds from every piece sold will be donated to London's Kids Company, which provides support in various ways to at risk children and young people.
Beyonce's publicist has stated that she has a 19-inch waist. Ummm....no. B, as annoying as she is, has curves that she seems to embrace. I applaud her for having a real body. However, having her publicist come out with this garbage is proof that everything in the entertainment industry comes down to weight. Very sad.
Speaking of, Scarlett Johansson is thinning down for her upcoming role in Iron Man 2. You know. Because she's SO HUGE. Gah. She's almost, but not completely, got the Christina Ricci 'big head on a small body' look going on. Not attractive. Just sad.
Also sad? Lindsay Lohan's film, Labour Pains is premiering on ABC Family before going to dvd. WHAT THE HELL? Oh, Linds. I feel badly for ABC Family.
Maddie is planning to adopt another baby from Malawi. A little girl this time. Some advice on how to choose a baby: whichever one doesn't cry when seeing your scary hands and worked-over face. Good luck.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
This is your mind on crack
Lindsay Lohan is the gift that keeps on giving...and I don't just mean STDs. Sam Ronson, get tested!
Little Girl Lost gave an interview with E! (because they are as cracky as she is, I guess), and the crack talk was amped up to 11:
With everything that's gone on with my family, my parents still taught us how to have tact, class, respect for others and how to follow our dreams and never change who we are for anyone or anything.
"Class" and "Lohan" do not go hand-in-hand. In fact, they don't even live in the same atmosphere. That family is whack.
If people would just leave my personal life alone—because it's really not that interesting—then I could land a great role.
Ummm...your personal life is the only thing people know about you now, Linds. Mean Girls was years ago. You know what was more recent? I Know Who Killed Me. How that was overlooked for an Oscar I'll never know. So powerful! Also more recently...club appearances with Sammy, a line of leggings, orange skin, weight loss, stringy hair, and rehab. Oh, and the crack. And the fighting with Sammy. And the shopping sprees.
SHUT IT, LINDS! YOU GOT KICKED OFF OF UGLY BETTY!! You couldn't even keep it together long enough for a story arc on Ugly Betty. Stop with the whining and get thee to real rehab where you aren't given beautiful oceanfront views and catered food.
I'd like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, make music, write books, etc. It's all possible if people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be.
Oh my.
Very ambitious, isn't she? For someone that can't hold a job and blows through money, that is. Yikes.
The bottom line is that we are each responsible for our actions. If people think you are an unprofessional brat, that means you have done things to warrant that belief. People aren't picking these thoughts out of the air. Stop blaming other people for your life, Linds. Otherwise I'm going to start calling you "My Mother 2.0."
My gosh, this girl is tedious.
Little Girl Lost gave an interview with E! (because they are as cracky as she is, I guess), and the crack talk was amped up to 11:
With everything that's gone on with my family, my parents still taught us how to have tact, class, respect for others and how to follow our dreams and never change who we are for anyone or anything.
"Class" and "Lohan" do not go hand-in-hand. In fact, they don't even live in the same atmosphere. That family is whack.
If people would just leave my personal life alone—because it's really not that interesting—then I could land a great role.
Ummm...your personal life is the only thing people know about you now, Linds. Mean Girls was years ago. You know what was more recent? I Know Who Killed Me. How that was overlooked for an Oscar I'll never know. So powerful! Also more recently...club appearances with Sammy, a line of leggings, orange skin, weight loss, stringy hair, and rehab. Oh, and the crack. And the fighting with Sammy. And the shopping sprees.
SHUT IT, LINDS! YOU GOT KICKED OFF OF UGLY BETTY!! You couldn't even keep it together long enough for a story arc on Ugly Betty. Stop with the whining and get thee to real rehab where you aren't given beautiful oceanfront views and catered food.
I'd like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, make music, write books, etc. It's all possible if people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be.
Oh my.
Very ambitious, isn't she? For someone that can't hold a job and blows through money, that is. Yikes.
The bottom line is that we are each responsible for our actions. If people think you are an unprofessional brat, that means you have done things to warrant that belief. People aren't picking these thoughts out of the air. Stop blaming other people for your life, Linds. Otherwise I'm going to start calling you "My Mother 2.0."
My gosh, this girl is tedious.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Angie needs Detox?
According to The Sun, Angie Jolie is on a liquid diet to lose weight.
From her lips? Because those plumpers are the only thing on her with any weight.
The earth mother and Brad Pitt admirer is currently filming the CIA thriller, Salt. She does all of her own stunts (well, excuse me!) and people on set are worried she will be too weak to perform. Will she use the power of her children to get her through?
You know Zahara's 'Bitch, please!' looks could rule the world.
Given that this story is from The Sun, we should take it with a grain of salt.
Ha! Salt. Get it?
I need chocolate.
From her lips? Because those plumpers are the only thing on her with any weight.
The earth mother and Brad Pitt admirer is currently filming the CIA thriller, Salt. She does all of her own stunts (well, excuse me!) and people on set are worried she will be too weak to perform. Will she use the power of her children to get her through?
You know Zahara's 'Bitch, please!' looks could rule the world.
Given that this story is from The Sun, we should take it with a grain of salt.
Ha! Salt. Get it?
I need chocolate.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Fergie doll is trannylicious!
Fergie Ferg Duhamel had a meet-n-greet at The Grove in Los Angeles on Saturday for her new shoe line (stripper heels, anyone?).
At the event, she was presented with a doll made in her image. Her tranny image!
Fergie Ferg's doll looked like a cranked out Diva performing in the Meat Packing District in NYC....complete with red satin gloves, bustier, and garter belt. Whoop!
Luckily, this doll won't pee itself on stage.
At the event, she was presented with a doll made in her image. Her tranny image!
Fergie Ferg's doll looked like a cranked out Diva performing in the Meat Packing District in NYC....complete with red satin gloves, bustier, and garter belt. Whoop!
Luckily, this doll won't pee itself on stage.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
New couple alert....sort of
Rumor swirling that Ryan Gosling is trying to get together with Natalie Portman. Interesting.
Although nothing will beat McGosling (Gortman? Gosman? Portling?), I am intrigued by this possible match. Both are actors with brains that do a lot of work promoting issues in other countries, such as Darfur. Also, they are both really pretty and should have lots of pretty babies.
Kidding! I'm not 12.
But, since Rachel McAdams is hanging out with Josh Lucas these days, I'd like to see Ryan move on and find happiness.
And, can we talk about Rachel and Josh? Ugh. Rachel...really? Josh Lucas was cute in Sweet Home Alabama, but that was back in 2002. Now he kind of looks like an uncle that would get drunk at holiday parties and embarrass you.
I'm not feeling that pairing at all.
Although nothing will beat McGosling (Gortman? Gosman? Portling?), I am intrigued by this possible match. Both are actors with brains that do a lot of work promoting issues in other countries, such as Darfur. Also, they are both really pretty and should have lots of pretty babies.
Kidding! I'm not 12.
But, since Rachel McAdams is hanging out with Josh Lucas these days, I'd like to see Ryan move on and find happiness.
And, can we talk about Rachel and Josh? Ugh. Rachel...really? Josh Lucas was cute in Sweet Home Alabama, but that was back in 2002. Now he kind of looks like an uncle that would get drunk at holiday parties and embarrass you.
I'm not feeling that pairing at all.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
A-Rod makes it too easy
Pick up Details magazine and see for yourself why the only person A-Rod could ever love is himself.
But please, do it on an empty stomach.
But please, do it on an empty stomach.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
This story makes my life
Oh, Julia Roberts. You ass.
Last night, in NYC, the premiere of Duplicity. It stars Clive Owen and That Woman. The one with the huge mouth and hideous laugh. The one that was so taken with herself when she won an Oscar that she couldn't be bothered to acknowledge (MUCH LESS THANK) Erin Brockovich. You know Erin, right? The woman that Horsey played in a film entitled Erin Brockovich in order to win that gold statue. The one that did the honest-to-goodness work it took to expose corruption and help the families that suffered physically and emotionally because people thought they were dispensable.
I can still see her up on that stage (while watching in the death trap known as the Rodeway Inn in State College), laughing and howling and telling the orchestra conductor that she wasn't going to allow him to play her off stage.
I HATE HER SO MUCH.
Well, a few years back, Jules decided to try her hand at Broadway. She starred in "Three Days of Rain" and, no, I didn't buy a ticket. Even though I adore Paul Rudd. Ugh. Paul deserved so much better. So did Bradley Cooper (who I have since learned to love).
Roger Friedman gave a review of the play that Jules found less then complimentary. Boo hoo. So, when he tried to interview her on the red carpet last night, she was rude like you read about. Because GOD FORBID SOMEONE NOT FALL AT HER FEET AND THINK SHE IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD. She likes to hold a grudge. Classy, Jules. Very classy.
Now I know you are thinking, "But aren't you holding a grudge against Julia?" Yes. Yes, I am.
But I don't know Julia. I'll most likely never meet her. And even if I did, I can fake nice with the best of them. Jules, obviously, cannot.
Best of luck with the movie.
HATE!
Last night, in NYC, the premiere of Duplicity. It stars Clive Owen and That Woman. The one with the huge mouth and hideous laugh. The one that was so taken with herself when she won an Oscar that she couldn't be bothered to acknowledge (MUCH LESS THANK) Erin Brockovich. You know Erin, right? The woman that Horsey played in a film entitled Erin Brockovich in order to win that gold statue. The one that did the honest-to-goodness work it took to expose corruption and help the families that suffered physically and emotionally because people thought they were dispensable.
I can still see her up on that stage (while watching in the death trap known as the Rodeway Inn in State College), laughing and howling and telling the orchestra conductor that she wasn't going to allow him to play her off stage.
I HATE HER SO MUCH.
Well, a few years back, Jules decided to try her hand at Broadway. She starred in "Three Days of Rain" and, no, I didn't buy a ticket. Even though I adore Paul Rudd. Ugh. Paul deserved so much better. So did Bradley Cooper (who I have since learned to love).
Roger Friedman gave a review of the play that Jules found less then complimentary. Boo hoo. So, when he tried to interview her on the red carpet last night, she was rude like you read about. Because GOD FORBID SOMEONE NOT FALL AT HER FEET AND THINK SHE IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD. She likes to hold a grudge. Classy, Jules. Very classy.
Now I know you are thinking, "But aren't you holding a grudge against Julia?" Yes. Yes, I am.
But I don't know Julia. I'll most likely never meet her. And even if I did, I can fake nice with the best of them. Jules, obviously, cannot.
Best of luck with the movie.
HATE!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Transfixed by a weave
This week has been crazy. Audit at work has zapped all of my energy...and all of my computer time at work. RUDE! I mean, really.
Had a few minutes to look at some entertainment news and saw that Katie Holmes has done got herself a weave over in Tokyo. Little Joey Potter showed it off at the Valkyrie premiere. My my. Very correspondent glam. She could be a new co-host on The Daily 10.
Anything to get away from Tom, right?
She still looks beat as hell and shell shocked. Poor Katie. That contract is looking like a mistake, isn't it?
Maybe Suri will use her super Scientology powers to save you both. Fingers crossed!
Had a few minutes to look at some entertainment news and saw that Katie Holmes has done got herself a weave over in Tokyo. Little Joey Potter showed it off at the Valkyrie premiere. My my. Very correspondent glam. She could be a new co-host on The Daily 10.
Anything to get away from Tom, right?
She still looks beat as hell and shell shocked. Poor Katie. That contract is looking like a mistake, isn't it?
Maybe Suri will use her super Scientology powers to save you both. Fingers crossed!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Some FNL love
Did you miss 6's last episode of Friday Night Lights last Friday? Well, you should be shot.
Good stuff. Was never a huge Jason Street fan, but I was happy with how his storyline was wrapped up on the show. Let's not lie....the chances of him becoming a sports agent overnight are non-existent, but it's nice to think of this guy getting a break for once. I mean, he becomes paralyzed from the waist down playing football, his girlfriend and best friend sleep together (and are currently dating), and he's got a goofy haircut. I mean, really.
For a nice read, check out ew.com. Scott Porter, who played Jason, blogs about his final few months on the show. You can also read a blog from Gaius Charles, who played Brian "Smash" Williams on the show. Good stuff. Sounds like a great cast and crew make that show tick.
You should also check out April's Vanity Fair for an interview with Taylor Kitsch, who plays Tim Riggins. He'll next be seen on the big screen in Wolverine and likes to drop the 'f' bomb.
Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose.
Good stuff. Was never a huge Jason Street fan, but I was happy with how his storyline was wrapped up on the show. Let's not lie....the chances of him becoming a sports agent overnight are non-existent, but it's nice to think of this guy getting a break for once. I mean, he becomes paralyzed from the waist down playing football, his girlfriend and best friend sleep together (and are currently dating), and he's got a goofy haircut. I mean, really.
For a nice read, check out ew.com. Scott Porter, who played Jason, blogs about his final few months on the show. You can also read a blog from Gaius Charles, who played Brian "Smash" Williams on the show. Good stuff. Sounds like a great cast and crew make that show tick.
You should also check out April's Vanity Fair for an interview with Taylor Kitsch, who plays Tim Riggins. He'll next be seen on the big screen in Wolverine and likes to drop the 'f' bomb.
Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Coincidence? I think not.
The Chicago Sun Times reported last week that things were not all sunshine and roses in the Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel relationship. Report was that Justin was growing tired of the relationship. Ugh. Could you imagine? They both seem so tedious and you can just tell Justin needs all the attention all the time. Good gracious, that would be a full-time job. Good thing she doesn't work much.
Well, fast forward to Saturday night on SNL. Justin cameos with Andy Samberg on Weekend Update. Funny enough. Suddenly, in struts Jessica as Jessica Rabbit. Oy. Was her butt padded? Hard to tell. Justin chewed the scenery as soon as she showed up, finishing off with a few robot dance moves that allowed him to exit stage left several seconds after her. You know he is always the last to leave. Must soak up every last bit of attention.
Gave me a stomach ache.
So, for now, Tiel (or is it Bimberlake?) is just fine.
At least as long as they can both get some airtime.
Well, fast forward to Saturday night on SNL. Justin cameos with Andy Samberg on Weekend Update. Funny enough. Suddenly, in struts Jessica as Jessica Rabbit. Oy. Was her butt padded? Hard to tell. Justin chewed the scenery as soon as she showed up, finishing off with a few robot dance moves that allowed him to exit stage left several seconds after her. You know he is always the last to leave. Must soak up every last bit of attention.
Gave me a stomach ache.
So, for now, Tiel (or is it Bimberlake?) is just fine.
At least as long as they can both get some airtime.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
New Office tonight
Remember this show called The Office? It was on after the Superbowl this year. It's now in it's 5th season on NBC.
You know it. I know it. Does NBC know it?
The show has been knee-deep in a strange schedule this season: a new episode here, a few weeks of reruns there....annoying to say the least.
Well, the show returns tonight with it's Valentine's Day episode. You know, the day celebrated in February?
Yes, today is March 5th.
Clearly, Ben Silverman is passing around bongs instead of coherent ideas at the network. Great programming prowess!
The Office at 9, and an all-new 30 Rock at 9:30.
Speaking of, did you catch Tina on Jimmy Fallon? Stellar.
You know it. I know it. Does NBC know it?
The show has been knee-deep in a strange schedule this season: a new episode here, a few weeks of reruns there....annoying to say the least.
Well, the show returns tonight with it's Valentine's Day episode. You know, the day celebrated in February?
Yes, today is March 5th.
Clearly, Ben Silverman is passing around bongs instead of coherent ideas at the network. Great programming prowess!
The Office at 9, and an all-new 30 Rock at 9:30.
Speaking of, did you catch Tina on Jimmy Fallon? Stellar.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Lock up your little boys, London!
Because Michael Jackson is going to invade this summer! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!
MJ is getting a huge paycheck of 300 million dollars for 30 shows at London's 02 arena. Say what now? That is ridiculous. In these tough economic times, how can the Pervy One be worth that much?
Can he still sing? Have you seen pics lately? He looks like he can barely stand. And that nose. Oh, that nose.
Hey, with enough spectacle he can probably lip sync and no one would care. Look at little Brit's concert comeback. The girl did not sing live once. ONCE. Not one time in last night's comeback kick-off in New Orleans. But there were dancers! And a three ring circus! Sigh.
That is why I spent money renewing my subscription to U2.com. For a chance to get pre-sale tickets when the boys tour this year, it's worth it. They can sing. LIVE. Yes, what a novel concept.
Save a seat for me, boys.
MJ is getting a huge paycheck of 300 million dollars for 30 shows at London's 02 arena. Say what now? That is ridiculous. In these tough economic times, how can the Pervy One be worth that much?
Can he still sing? Have you seen pics lately? He looks like he can barely stand. And that nose. Oh, that nose.
Hey, with enough spectacle he can probably lip sync and no one would care. Look at little Brit's concert comeback. The girl did not sing live once. ONCE. Not one time in last night's comeback kick-off in New Orleans. But there were dancers! And a three ring circus! Sigh.
That is why I spent money renewing my subscription to U2.com. For a chance to get pre-sale tickets when the boys tour this year, it's worth it. They can sing. LIVE. Yes, what a novel concept.
Save a seat for me, boys.
Monday, March 02, 2009
U2 on Letterman and Little Jimmy grows up
In support of their new cd, No Line On The Horizon, U2 will be on David Letterman this week. Every night this week, in fact. Set those TiVos and DVRs and eat a potato in honor of the Irish.
Will Bono sport some new eyeliner? Will Larry role his eyes? Will Edge wear a new skully? Will Adam be relevant? This is the week for answers!
The cd drops tomorrow and you should all Itune it like it's hot.
In equally exciting news, Mr. James Fallon takes over the Late Show on NBC tonight. With Conan's move to LA to take over The Tonight Show, there was room in the 12:30am slot for a new voice. Look no further than Jimmy. Not Jimmy from Seinfeld, but a good one just the same. I wish Jimmy only the best and look forward to his interviews with Tina Fey (tomorrow) and one half of Bluntski, Ms. Emily Blunt, next week. Good luck, Jimmy!
Speaking of good wishes, I would like to extend a very happy 'Congratulations!' to loyal reader Erin on her engagement. All the best to you! According to Mike Passero, taupe is the new white. Words of wisdom! I am quite certain you will have a stylish, sassy wedding and reception knowing that you have The Hills recapper, and resident Diva, on your side.
Will Bono sport some new eyeliner? Will Larry role his eyes? Will Edge wear a new skully? Will Adam be relevant? This is the week for answers!
The cd drops tomorrow and you should all Itune it like it's hot.
In equally exciting news, Mr. James Fallon takes over the Late Show on NBC tonight. With Conan's move to LA to take over The Tonight Show, there was room in the 12:30am slot for a new voice. Look no further than Jimmy. Not Jimmy from Seinfeld, but a good one just the same. I wish Jimmy only the best and look forward to his interviews with Tina Fey (tomorrow) and one half of Bluntski, Ms. Emily Blunt, next week. Good luck, Jimmy!
Speaking of good wishes, I would like to extend a very happy 'Congratulations!' to loyal reader Erin on her engagement. All the best to you! According to Mike Passero, taupe is the new white. Words of wisdom! I am quite certain you will have a stylish, sassy wedding and reception knowing that you have The Hills recapper, and resident Diva, on your side.
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