Why does Michael Patrick King hate me?

I rented the dvds of Sex and the City, dammit!

I put up with the whining and horrendous outfits and the whining and SJP and the whining and Mr. Big. Did I mention the whining?

I overlooked Carrie and her skinny ass screwing Aidan over not once BUT TWICE, and going off to live in Paris with a skeleton masquerading as Mikhail Baryshnikov, only to end up in the arms of the emotionally abusive Mr. Big. I put up with Charlotte and her pearls and Miranda and her bitchiness and Samantha and her nudity. All for what?

So that years later, when the series makes it to the big screen, Michael Patrick King can subject me to 145 minutes of these 4 bitches and their Manolo's and Jimmy Choo's? I could barely get through 30 minutes of this show when it was on. I'll need a pitcher of Cosmos and a Valium to make it past the first hour.

In all honesty, I never considered myself a fan of the show. I tried. I watched the episodes and occasionally laughed. Occasionally I felt sympathy for the characters. I even cried (CRIED!) when Miranda's mom passed away. (That episode, "My Motherboard, My Self" is wonderful and the scene when Samantha mouths "I'm sorry" to Miranda at the funeral is very touching). But, I never felt the liberation watching this show that so many claimed was part of it's groundbreaking achievement. Yes, the women talked about sex, and everyone but SJP showed their business during the course of the series, but so what? None of them were characters I would want to be friends with and I often found it unbelievable that anyone would want to be in a relationship with them.

I guess the biggest problem for me was SJP's Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie was self-absorbed, bad with money, full of puns, and lacking in fashion sense. She was a nightmare. To the credit of the writers, they weren't afraid to show that. She wasn't perfect. None of them were. They all had flaws. I appreciated that. But I never really felt that Carrie grew as a character over the course of the series. She was a successful writer with a great apartment and close friends and parties to go to. She had a great life.

But not really. Because she didn't have Big. And that's what I felt was her fatal flaw and the flaw of the series.

Her relationships with men were awkward or funny but all were doomed because the guy wasn't Big. And Big was an ass! I'm sorry, but he was. I was so disappointed that they ended up together in the series finale. I never liked the guy. He was manipulative and a user. He only wanted Carrie when she was happy with someone else. He was stank! HATED him. For real.

Oh, but he was quippy! And rich! And had a driver! GAG. Who cares? Stank is stank and it can't hide behind expensive sunglasses or pricey suits. If anything, I feel that Carrie settled for a guy that treated her badly because she was in LOVE. Great message! I feel liberated.

Thank you and goodnight!

But seriously, couldn't this movie have been 90 minutes at most. Blergh!

And one more thing: I find it odd that the last premiere for this film was in NYC. I mean, throughout the series, everyone involved in the show claimed that NY was the 5th cast member.

Maybe NY was holding out for more money.