Thursday, May 01, 2008

Mimi, is that a Hand Me Down ring on your finger?

Oh, Lambs. If this is true, someone is going to get a stiletto in the eye.

Reports have surfaced that Mariah is engaged to Nick Cannon. Who? Please, you know you saw Drum Line. Or Roll Bounce. Maybe? No? How about All That on Nickelodeon? Whatever! He's a boy. And he's marrying Mariah.

He's a dumb boy.

Not only for proposing, but for giving Mariah the same ring he gave his first fiance. Snap! Mimi will be pissed if this turns out to be true. I mean, I can see that maybe his career isn't allowing him to buy multiple rings for his multiple fiances, but this is Mimi, bitch! She'll lock you in her walk-in closet and make you organize her shoe collection. And that is just the start! Imagine how many times he'll have to watch Glitter while keeping a straight face.

Oh, Nick. Should have opted for a payment plan at Kay Jewelers.

UPDATE: Latina magazine is reporting that Mimi and Nick married yesterday on an island. Lost island? I don't think Ben would have patience for her antics. Or her multiple suitcases. Where's the smoke monster when you need it?

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