The Hills

*Another Monday means another hour of losing your brain cells thanks to LC, Audrina, Lo, Heidi, and the rest of the gang. Recapper Jessica makes sense of what we saw while our IQs lowered in intervals of 20.*

Another hour of Hills goodness begins as Lauren invites She-Pratt out for her bday celebration. I can't help but notice that Lauren's hair looks freshly cut and super clean. Maybe this will be the year she starts off clean, and keeps herself that way.

"So...are we dating?" Spencer one ups himself on the dork-o-meter with this one. I didn't think it could be done.

I'm just gonna throw this out there: I WANT TO PARTY WITH LO.

Now, I have two brothers and spent many years living with them, so I can totally understand why Spencer's sis is getting so annoyed with him. What I can't understand is how she didn't punch him in his face when he asked her to clean up after his dirty ass when he's making a mess in HER apartment. I'm sure she's a scrappy fighter and he doesn't look like he's been hitting the gym hard.

Whitney looks like a soccer mom, so it's no surprise that she dances like one.

I love how Lo and Audrina are talking smack on Lauren and Stephanie's friendship but covering it up with smiles, all while sitting a total of 5 feet away from them. That's actually the most real thing I've seen on this show.

It's about to go down! The Bolthouse Mole has started spreading the word about Stephanie rubbing elbows with Lauren.

I can barely see Brody's face because his gigantic ring is taking up most of the screen. Did he get that thing out of a cereal box?

I can't believe Spencer made his sister cry. Well, I can believe it because he's Spencer. What an idiot.

Do you buy that Heidi doesn't want to be Lauren's friend? I think she'd go back to laying poolside with LC in a heartbeat if she had the chance.

Oh, Lauren, why can't you just be happy with your cushy internship? She has those dagger eyes out after hearing Whit talk about her new gig. I've finally put my finger on who Whitney's new boss Kelly looks like: an escaped mental patient.

Awk-ward. That describes the Heidi-Audrina convo at the club. Between Heidi's stammering and Audrina's blank stares, I didn't know where that was going to lead.

Audrina, open your eyes! It's like her defense mechanism against being called out by Lauren is closing her eyes. She can still see you, you didn't turn invisible or anything.

I really want Lauren to walk in while Heidi is in the apartment picking up her stuff. No such luck. Instead, we get some meaningless chit chat between Heidi and Audrina and yet another reminder from Heidi that the two should hang out sometime. I think Audrina gets the point by now. Although, she does seem kind of slow.

That's it for tonight. Justin Bobby, where are you to make sense of it all???

*I suspect JB is stoned out of his mind on some beach, but that's just a quick guess.*