Thursday, October 25, 2007

Rehabs around the country prepare for January 1, 2008

That's when Linds will march right back in with her skeezy father in tow, astounded by the fact that she couldn't handle a New Year's Eve cocktail of vodka, coke, and crack, which caused her to scream "Dick Clark and Seacrest have nothing on me, bitches!!!!"

So, it appears that Linds is contractually obligated to host a New Year's Eve party at Vegas hot spot LAX. She'd be better off running on the tarmac at LAX in Los Angeles and trying to dodge planes ready for takeoff. Oh, this is going to be bad.

Sources claim that Linds had no choice in taking the gig because her lame ass is broke and can't pay back Pure Management Group the hundreds of thousands of dollars she owes them for bailing on her 21st birthday party. So, let's see......you get Pure Nightclub to pay you a ton of money to show up for your 21st birthday. You enter rehab instead, and blow through all of that money on....wait for it.....blow! Damn, she loved her drugs.

So, I guess while I gorge myself on bitterness and regret this New Year's Eve, some rehab worker will be readying a VIP room complete with copies of Vogue and The Hollywood Reporter for Lindsay's arrival. Oh, and installing video cameras in the room so they can sell the footage to TMZ and start their year off rolling in green.

Best of luck to you!

UPDATE!!!!

LAX just sent a press release claiming that Paris and Nicky will be hosting the event. Hmmmm.......the plot thickens. Or thins.

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