Lance Armstrong, please shut up.

Right now. Just shut it.

I'm sorry. I don't like Lance.

I'm happy that he beat cancer and is living a healthy life right now, but I don't need him giving interviews that make no sense. It's confusing and makes me cranky.

I realize I don't have to read those interviews, but how else would I get through a day of work?

So, he gives an interview in the latest issue of Details magazine and talks about his "best buddy" Matthew McConaughey. And I quote: "He's all tin cans and yam," says Lance of the famously crunchy Matt. "I get s**t on my Blackberry ... My cell phone. Most of it is bulls**t."

WHAT?!?!?!?

Apparently, Matt lives in a junkyard and is too lazy to eat anything other than yams.

At least that's my take.

Also, Details makes me want to gag by calling Lance "America's New Playboy." Shut up, Details.

I hope he finds the time to talk about his kids in the article. That would be nice. Maybe he forgot he has any because he's always cycling with Matt(and don't forget Jake!)or hosting the ESPYs.

I'm guessing Sheryl Crow will not be buying this issue. Unless, of course, she's using the pictures to make a voodoo doll. Be sure to send me one, Sheryl.