Sunday, September 09, 2007

Bad weaves and lip syncs and paranoia, oh my!

Poor Britney.

The opening shot, of the back of her horrible weave, was the best part of her performance. It was the only time she wasn't lip syncing! And the girl doesn't even know the words to her own song! What the hell? Too much coke? Too much partying with Puffy and Pharrell? Where was Criss Angel? Did he put a spell on her?

Her sparkly bra and underwear did no favors for her body. Granted, she has a flatter stomach than I do, but at least I know when to cover up my stomach and ass from the first ten rows(and millions of people watching on television). Oh, she's over. OVER. So over.

She looked completely out of it. Completely. She was scared and hesitant. She did not dance. She shimmied a few times and tried to keep from falling off stage. Of course, she never got close to the edge, but maybe she was distracted from all the spiders she must have been hallucinating were crawling on her skin. Is it spiders? Maybe ants? Are bugs ever associated with drug hallucinations? Am I on drugs?

Oh, and it's time to call in Tyra Banks so she can loan out some decent weaves. Brit needs a handler in the worst way.

Not good, y'all! Not good.

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