There is just way too much going on

So, let's take a breath and dive right in.

We'll start with Oscar. So happy for Little Miss Sunshine. Along with For Your Consideration, it was my favorite movie of last year. How great would a sleeper win for Best Picture be? It would be, in the immortal words of Neil Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother, "legendary."

So sad that Beyonce didn't get a nomination for Dreamgirls. PLEASE. Poor Jay-Z is probably still hearing her bitch and moan about how an American Idol castoff scored an Oscar nomination and she didn't. Ear plugs, Jigga. Ear plugs.

Years ago, I took my sister to the Terrace Club in Stamford, CT to see Mark Wahlberg take off his shirt, show off his boxers, and sing "Good Vibrations." Yes, it was worth it. Sue me! Did either of us, much less ANYONE in the club that night, think that the douche on stage would one day be an Oscar-nominated actor? Uh, no. Congrats to Mark. He has grown up, been choosy about film roles, and will be walking the red carpet next month. Ari Gold would be proud.

The Academy does not like Brad Pitt. Maybe he's too pretty for them. Maybe they don't like Maddox's faux hawk. Maybe Aniston slept with a few of them to make sure Brad's name would be left off the Best Supporting Actor nomination list. Who knows? I wouldn't put it past her, though. Girl is going to kiss Courtney Cox in the season finale of Dirt. I smell desperation on all parties involved.

Whatever, Brad. I still love you! Call me after you put Shiloh down for a nap.

Now it's time for Isaiah Washington's 2007 Forgiveness Tour. I wonder if he'll play Mohegan Sun? Boy, is he f***ed. Checked into a residential treatment facility to undergo psychological testing. What am I missing? I know people who are homophobic. They aren't checking into rehab because of it. They are getting dirty looks from me, but I'm not packing their bags and checking them into a center(although, maybe I should). Something else is going on here. I'm sure ABC forced him to do this and to meet with members of GLAAD. I hope he learns tolerance and can truly understand the pain he has caused. Then I want his ass off of Grey's Anatomy.

Finally, Anne "Celestia" Heche's marriage is over. Rumor has it that she and her Men in Trees co-star, the incredibly cute James Tupper, are screwing around on set in Vancouver. OOOH! That's better then dropping X in the desert and waiting for the Mother Ship to bring you to your home planet, isn't it? I think so. Celestia does have a four-year-old son, but his name is Homer and he was going to be screwed up anyway. I mean, let's be honest.