Thursday, January 18, 2007

Move over, Ryan and Isaiah. Gartan is back in town!

I was trying to decide whether to talk about Ryan being mad at Angie for dissing his sorry ass on the Golden Globes pre-show, or about Isaiah releasing a statement about how he's homophobic without ever using the word "homophobic."

BUT, screw both of them, because I just read about how Jennifer Garner, Victor Garber, and.....wait for it.....ready? Okay. AND, Michael Vartan had lunch at Orso yesterday.

Oh, hell no!

I can't believe it. Why? Why wasn't I invited? And why wasn't I invited?

I hate when ex's get along. It's like the world is off its axis.

I wonder if they talked about Ben? Or, maybe Jennifer apologized for her terrible acting in the last season of Alias. She gave new meaning to the phrase "phoning it in." Girlfriend looked bored. And fat. But she was pregnant, so that explains that.

I am in shock. I really liked to believe that Michael had a voodoo doll of Jennifer that he pricked every morning before taking his dog for a walk. And I liked the idea of Jennifer sitting in her living room, watching Monster-in-Law, and crying over the fact that she has a J.Lo connection with two men.

Eh, I'll still believe it. It centers me. It's like my own personal mental yoga.

Wait a minute. Maybe they weren't speaking this whole time, and their fairy godmother, Victor, demanded that they bury the hatchet. That makes sense. Oh, Vic. Ya little peace keeper!

If only one of them would call me and give me the real scoop. Bitches.

No comments: