Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Hello Dolly! I'm an idiot.

This is classic.

The 29th Annual Kennedy Center Honors was held this past Sunday, and Jessica Simpson proved that reading is really, really hard.

Papa Joe's first born was to sing the Dolly Parton hit "9 to 5" in front of Dolly and 4 other artists that were being honored. According to her publicist, Jessica was so nervous to be performing in front of another blonde with large breasts, that she insisted the words be printed on cue cards(after her request for a TelePrompTer was denied). Well, cue cards it was! And she still managed to flub a line.

Zoink!

Jess was reportedly very upset and given permission to perform the song again. Thank goodness! I can sleep easily tonight.

It's a wonder the girl is able to get out of her own way. How hard is it to learn a song? She's been on tour! She's had to remember her own craptastic lyrics so she could lip sync them on stage. If she is as big a Dolly fan as she claims, she should have known this song already. Plain and simple.

GAH! She bugs.

You know what this means, don't you? Panty-less appearances in support of her breakdown are in our future.

My brothers will be thrilled.

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