Maybe this one will have a better name

Julia Roberts is pregnant with baby #3. Miraculously, the world didn't stop spinning.

Ummm.....yeah, so another baby. I know she had a rough time with her twins, Hazel and Phinnaeus, towards the end of the pregnancy, so I hope she has an easier time of it now.

(Yes, Virginia, even bitter people can have moments of weakness. And they are called "wishing others well.")

The baby is due in the summer, and I hope that Jules feels she can take a nice sabbatical from movies after the birth. I'm sure she will be busy trying to keep the twins from "accidentally" hitting the new kid with one of their toys, or writing on it's face with a permanent marker.

Wow. That sounds exhausting.

And who would have thought she and her husband, Danny, would still be together, much less having a third child together? NOT ME!

Score one for Horseface.

Everybody hates Patty Heaton

Well, not EVERYBODY. I mean, I don't hate her. I just don't like her. A friend of mine can't stand her. BUT, he also doesn't like the NBC version of The Office, so clearly his views aren't to be trusted.

The whole Everybody Loves Raymond phenomenon went right over my head. I guess it's because I am bombarded by my parents on a daily basis and didn't need to see it played out on television. That's also why I don't watch House. The guy is a grouch. See: my father. Live with it daily, Hugh Laurie! Don't need to see it with a click of the remote.

Now, Ms. Kathy Griffin doesn't like Patty, either. Kathy was quoted as saying she doesn't like Patty's conservative views on gays and stem cell research when she attended a charity event at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center earlier this month. I love a good celebrity feud! Kathy told the mostly gay audience that Patty is not to be trusted because she "hates you gays." Ouch!

Kathy also doesn't like it when Her Gays stab her in the back. I'm with you, Kathy! Your Gays were just looking for a little publicity. You are better off just hanging out with Lance and his boyfriend. Patty wouldn't approve, but whatever.

Man, I hate going back to work after a Holiday. Or any day, really.

Oh, Sean

Sean Penn has a lot of rage towards the President, and he's going to tell anyone that is nearby when he has a microphone.

Sean received the Christopher Reeve First Amendment Award at the Creative Coalition ceremony and stunned an audience full of people that make a lot of money by calling for the impeachment of Bush and Cheney.

Well, why not? You know January is a generally slow time of the new year. Maybe then.

Look, Sean has gotten all political since his days of smacking paparazzi upside the head. You remember that time, don't you? It's when Maddie had dark hair and an American accent. Think back. It will come to you.

His movies haven't been huge blockbusters, and it's been a few years since he won that Oscar. I think. It was, right? Like, two years ago? Three? As much as I love the Globes, Emmy's, and Oscar's, I can never remember from year-to-year who wins what.

Well, whatever. He's an Oscar winner. And he has important things to say about our country and President. Or something.

I'm over it. Tell Robin I loved her in The Princess Bride and on Santa Barbara.

I want world peace and another drink

Tara Connor is a big ole' mess. And I love it!

The reigning Miss USA has been druggin', whorin', and drinkin' for the past several months....and people were not happy. Including Donald Trump. What a buzzkill, Donald!

He and his bad rug held a press conference today where he stated that Tara would be able to keep her crown and was going to seek treatment for her Girls Gone Wild behavior. Well okay, then! Have fun.

Look, I get it. She's from a small town in Kentucky, she wins Miss USA, moves to New York, and suddenly she's realizing that there is more to life then volunteer work and public appearances. We've all been there, Tara. I used to live the life of a beauty queen, but I started getting wasted and hanging out with celebrities. It was too much.

Now I spend my days impatiently waiting for one more person to come up to my desk and complain about the food for our Department Holiday party. It's so much more fun then underage drinking and snorting coke. Really.

Good luck to Tara in rehab. May she meet a nice therapist who will convince her not to have sex with Donald. Because, I kind of get the feeling that in addition to the rehab, that was another part of the deal letting her keep the crown.

And, just EW!

I thought I looked like crap

BUT, then I saw this picture of Renee, and I felt a whole hell of a lot better.

I like how she is trying to convince someone she only took a little hit of Botox. Silly girl.

Renee has signed on to do a movie with George Clooney entitled Leatherheads. I thought she was stalking him after their breakup, but I guess George is a forgiving guy. Or, he's just as crazy as she is.

Hmmm.....something to ponder at work tomorrow.

Golden Globes

I love the Golden Globes. I really do. They are so much more fun then the Oscar's. Don't usually go on for days, either.

BUT, they really need to change the Best Supporting categories for television. They lump series, made-for-tv-movie and mini-series together. It's ridiculous.

Three words: Krasinski was robbed.

I am thrilled, though, that The Office and Steve Carell were nominated. Steve is up for Best Actor(which he won last year, and which I had to hear my friend whine and moan about because he is a snob and still hates the American version of The Office - ass!)along with Zach Braff, Jason Lee, Alec Baldwin, and Tony Shaloub. I would love to see a repeat from Steve, who is nothing short of brilliant, but I would be happy with anyone EXCEPT Shaloub. We all know he peaked as Antonio on Wings.

Brad was nominated for Babel, and I'm not bitter AT ALL that I don't have bleacher seats for the show. Because, you know, I could walk down any street in Stamford on any given day and bump into him(or someone that looks like him). Because life is fair like that.

SUCK IT, Beverly Hills Hotel. Thanks for ruining my dream of more photo ops and sunburn. HATE!

Grief requiring a tetanus shot

Because if this is true, then God help her.

Rumor has it that Jennifer Aniston met K-Fed at Club Citrus and didn't run away.

Say it with me know: WHAT?

Honey, I know you are still in mourning over Brad preferring Angie's cookie, but please. This is reprehensible.

Stay far away from that baby maker. He is nothing but trouble. And bad fashion sense.

Maybe she just thought he was the dj and she was trying to request Maddie's "Love Don't Live Here Anymore." Poor Jen.

Look, I mourn losing Brad to Angie, too. BUT, I don't talk to nasty-ass losers with no talent. I just work with them. Thank you! I'll be here all week!

Jen, go to Courtney's house and mix up a gallon of margaritas instead. I hear her new show, Dirt is horrible. Drown your sorrows like good girls.

The result of good genes

And they named her "Shiloh."

Damn, she's cute. Has Angie's lips. Brad's wistful look.

Makes me want to have a child with Brad.....more than ever. Gah! I hate my life.

Ummm.....well, that's great. Glad she's so cute. Really. Happy for everyone.

Sigh.

Mmmm.....drugs

Nicole Ritchie's diet plan has been exposed!

First, smoke some weed. Then, pop a Vicodin. You'll be way too tired to eat. EVER.

Way to kill the munchies, Nicole! Such a smart girl.

Dummy was pulled over in Burbank early this morning when two separate 911 calls told of a driver getting on to the Ventura Freeway via an exit ramp. When police caught up to her, she was in the carpool lane, talking on her cellphone, while keeping her foot on the brake.

When you see a job description in your local newspaper looking for someone who can "multi-task," this is what they mean. I bet Nicole would make a great Administrative Assistant.

I couldn't do a thing on Vicodin when I hurt my back a few months ago. Or my neck. One of those. Of course, it was really the generic kind, and it made me more jumpy then tired, but still. I knew not to drive. Unless it was for an ice cream run. DUH.

Nicole was listed at an ample(for a child)85 pounds. I think my left leg weighs that much.

I bet if she had a convertible, she would just float right out of the car. The girl just isn't right.

Maybe this experience will get her in the studio where she and papa Lionel can record a duet. Fingers crossed, everyone!!

Maybe Paris and Brit will sing backup. Ooooh.

Hello Dolly! I'm an idiot.

This is classic.

The 29th Annual Kennedy Center Honors was held this past Sunday, and Jessica Simpson proved that reading is really, really hard.

Papa Joe's first born was to sing the Dolly Parton hit "9 to 5" in front of Dolly and 4 other artists that were being honored. According to her publicist, Jessica was so nervous to be performing in front of another blonde with large breasts, that she insisted the words be printed on cue cards(after her request for a TelePrompTer was denied). Well, cue cards it was! And she still managed to flub a line.

Zoink!

Jess was reportedly very upset and given permission to perform the song again. Thank goodness! I can sleep easily tonight.

It's a wonder the girl is able to get out of her own way. How hard is it to learn a song? She's been on tour! She's had to remember her own craptastic lyrics so she could lip sync them on stage. If she is as big a Dolly fan as she claims, she should have known this song already. Plain and simple.

GAH! She bugs.

You know what this means, don't you? Panty-less appearances in support of her breakdown are in our future.

My brothers will be thrilled.