Another season of The Hills dropped last night. Our resident Diva was there to catch it, dissect it, and make it more palatable to the average person. Buckle up, because it's going to be a bumpy ride:
There are some things that just keep coming back into the mix no matter how much you'd love for them to go away. Have you heard the latest single to drop from the (never) celebrated team of vocalist Heidi Montag and producer Spencer Pratt? It's not any better than Ms. Heidiwood's previous offerings. But, it is good for a laugh. Or a cry.
And other things seem like they're going to be gone forever but luckily they hang around for a bit longer. At the end of every recent Hills season, Lauren will tell anyone who will listen that she has had enough of the obtrusive cameras and is ready to call it quits. But all you have to do is wait a few months and Lauren and her posse inevitably return to the MTV airwaves with refreshed highlights and the latest designer duds.
So, hang onto your hobo bags, another season begins of The Hills starts...now.
Stephanie and Heidi are concocting a plan to throw in an extra surprise at Lauren's surprise birthday party since Heidi is going even though she's not invited. Surprise! Here's your ex-friend and you're gonna be trapped on a boat with her all night long!
This episode scores points early on for throwing in some Kelly Clarkson goodness. Love that song.
Ooh, I want Lo to order me a birthday cake. Sigh. One day.
I spotted Holly in the back of the crowd at Lauren's birthday. Will there be some added sisterly drama on this birthday boat?
Why is Spencer's face so shiny? The sheen coupled with those awkward gestures at the bar is just an unfortunate combination.
First Lo dishes out some wise words to Heidi, and then she shoots her a quality eye roll as she walks away. Gotta love that Lo.
Can we talk about Spencer's friend Charlie for a second? Ew. Any girl with a pulse and more than 5 brain cells (I'm looking at you bartender girl) should be immediately repelled by these two.
Am I the only one that expected Heidi to dive into the water and start frantically paddling to get to Spencer? She wasn't getting the whole middle of the water, not near land concept.
Whoa, I didn't think Spencer was actually gonna hit that kid. I figured he was all talk. Note: My arms are the same size as Spencer's.
Thank you Heidi for making the birthday girl cry. Hello Debbie Downer.
Stephanie is totally laying the smackdown on Spencer. It's taken a few years, but she's finally making sense when she speaks and isn't standing for any of his crap.
Heidi is stompin' around town in her boots and short skirt, and she's not gonna stop until she confronts this bartender.
Can't Darlene see that playing the nice mom card hasn't worked all along? It's time to lock Heidi up and not let her out until she agrees to ditch Spencer. Drastic times...
If Stephanie keeps defending Heidi, Lauren is going to pick up a bolt of fabric and beat her over the head with it. You know how those FIDM girls get around swatches.
Now we have Brody vs. Spencer. Good (?) vs. Evil. Showered vs. Looks Like A Drug Addict.
Ah, this was just the beginning of the Hills goodies for this season. Be back next Monday to see what great/awful things unfold in the next ep.
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