Why?
Because two events are happening this year that are making a mockery of my birthday. And my birthday has no way of defending itself. Aaaahhhh! The horror.
First up, Justin Timbergag is hosting SNL. Ugh. Double Ugh if Jessica Biel shows up with her manly shoulders.
And, secondly, I just found out today that Jessica Simpson will be entertaining marine life by performing at SeaWorld San Diego that night.
My birthday deserves better.
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