Tuesday, June 10, 2008

D is for Divorce

And also for the word "Do." Now, if you add the word "It" after "Do," you have my message to Madonna and Guy. Enough with the rumors and denials and awkward body language at premieres and restaurants. Just get divorced and go your separate ways.

The rumor today is that Maddie has contacted Paul McCartney's attorney and wants to kick Guy to the curb and move to New York (with her kids, I assume, but who knows?). Madge's publicist denied this rumor, insisting they are as happy as Madonna was with Sean...or Warren Beatty...or Carlos Leon...or Dennis Rodman. My goodness, she has strange taste in men. And is the verdict still out on Carlos? Wasn't he really just a sperm donor? I pick up a vibe from him more in line with Seacrest.

What does Lourdes have to say about this? Does she side with the nanny who has really been raising her all this time? Or was it a drag queen that used to be one of mommy's tour dancers? That would probably be fun. I bet Lourdes has a drag name. What are her feelings on Rocco and David? I wonder if she heard about Maddie wanting to adopt little David and rolled her eyes? I could see it. Maybe spit out "Angelina wannabe" under her breath. Mmmm hmmm. I can tell by looking at her that she has sass for days.

Let's hope there wasn't a prenup for Guy's sake. You know he blew through that Swept Away money. Oh, wait. Did that make any money? AT ALL?

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