This show will be the death of me

WTH? I don't like the idea of young girls/women/any sex, really, watching this show. Why is everyone so dumb and picking horrible mates?

Audrina, that hat was atrocious. Never wear it again.

Lauren, enough with the bitch face. Everyone on this show is fake. I miss Justin Bobby.

Now, on with the recap:


Here we are tonight, only two new episodes separating us from the drama-free abyss known as The Hills hiatus. That's right kiddies, we have a limited time left with our favorite gang of reality starlets so I hope MTV will reward its Hills faithful as season 3 winds down. I, for one, would enjoy some more Lo. She's been MIA for a few ep's and her words of wisdom have been missed. She didn't even get to say goodbye to Justin Bobby!

Now I know I missed talking about last week's episode, which was without question one of the highlights of this season thus far, and for this I apologize. How much of a psycho is Spencer's sister? How many nights do you think she's spent face down in the gutter outside an LA nightclub? The questions could go on and on, but it's time for the show to start.

10:01--Lauren admits to having blue eyes with "yellow in the middle." Is she a monster? I'm scared.

10:03--There's gonna be a Halloween party at Lauren's and Audrina's. Whitney's gonna be the first doing a kegstand. I'm calling it.

10:04--I'm frightened all over again by Spencer's sister. She just seems like she could go into a crazy rage at any moment.

10:05--Jen Bunney got an invite. And she's still making dumb comments. Some things never change.

10:07--Lauren looks extra b*tchy as a brunette, right?

10:13--The Pratt sibs have a heart to heart about the impending nuptials at the store where Spencer's picking up his and Heidi's save-the-date cards. I'm sure the kind shop owner enjoys being dragged in the middle of this mess.

10:15--Is Audrina's Aussie date serious about 1. his lip ring and 2. that smarmy pick-up line?

10:15--Yesss, LO IS BACK. Missing the party to study for a midtem doesn't stop her from dishing out some sound advice to Lauren about her and Brody's relationship. Lo, so wise!

10:21--Audrina likes the Aussie. Good for her. Maybe he'll like her bright blue hat, because I sure don't.

10:23--Another Spencer/Heidi showdown. They actually already sound like an old married couple fighting.

10:25--Brody is channeling the Seattle grunge look of 1995 with his plaid flannel shirt. Bold choice.

10:27--The will they/won't they controversy continues on with Lauren and Brody. It's pretty much 2007's version of David and Maddie. Without the private detective agency, obviously.

Count it down. One week to go til the finale. It won't be the Lauren-Jason-summer in Paris triangle of finales past, but I'm sure it won't disappoint.