Sunday, January 17, 2010

Part 2

Hi, Parsons! What a fabulous workspace.

We have some new sponsors this season! Brother is providing the sewing machines and HP is providing Touchsmart notebooks. Lucky! Now get to work, bitches!

Janeane is going to make a black cocktail dress. Zzzzzzzzzz..........oh, what? I'm sure that decision won't come back to bite her. Emilio is making a dress with "color, design, and fit." Good. You deserve to be here. Ping shows us that she likes to put her designs on and jump up and down in front of a mirror in them. The other designers shoot her a quick glance followed by chants of "CRAZY! CRAZY!" in their minds.

At the eight hours left mark, Tim brings the models in. Skin and bones for everyone!

Jesus utters the words "mermaid style" and I go to my dark place of hating mermaid dresses. His waif thinks they will win. We'll see. We get quick shots of the models sashaying in their scraps and I see pointy shoulderblades. Time for dinner!

After the models leave to buy smokes, Tim walks in to check and see who fooled the casting team with their audition tapes. A quick look around makes it seem like most everyone. Tricksters! Ping delights Tim by doing her best impression of an Olsen with her design. It's just layers of material complete with a hat. Fashion forward or just what someone should wear at 202 Highview in the winter?

MELTDOWN! Tim gives his most concerned look of the day to Janeane's cocktail dress. It puckers and doesn't lay flat. Fine for a day when you are bloated, but not for the runway. She scurries off to the bathroom to do some chants about how she deserves to be here and starts from scratch. With less than 8 hours? Time for an energy drink!

Anthony picked a fabric that looks like a garden exploded. Oy. Not feeling it. Tim tells him to stick with the lead actress and not force a supporting player. That is a nice way of saying that his main fabric is hideous. Let's not involve poor yellow.

Jesus used material that looks like a Mr. Hanky-colored fruit roll up. Eww. Tim is worried about the HUMONGOUS seam in the front. I'm worried as well. You know Kors will rip you a new one if he sees it, so why tempt the orange man???

Day of the runway show: scramble like your life depends on it! You know the deal. Everyone has something to add, subtract, and pray on. Will the fashion fairy help you survive to next week? Will everyone use the Bluefly.com wall thoughtfully? Will I start drinking during these recaps? Questions abound!

Emilio/Darius has a LOT to do. He is competing with Janeane for Most Likely To Let The Door Hit You In The Butt. And they still have to bring their models to the L'Oreal Paris Makeup Room and Garnier Hair Salon. And you know those stylists won't wait for you! Chop Chop!

Somehow everyone makes it to the runway. Heidi appears from behind the screen wearing a fresh pop of green in a sheer blouse. Sassy! She makes the designers salivate by telling them what they will win if they are crowned the winner at Fashion Week. Simmer down! We're only in Week 1.

Oh, Nicole Richie is the guest judge this week. She looks....homeless. I'm sorry, but those extensions and peasant outfit don't work. But she's creating her own fashion line, so what do I know. Oh, right. IT DOESN'T WORK!

Jonathan: short sleeveless dress that is very fun and youthful. Impeccable work.

Seth Aaron: short sleeveless plaid dress with a ruffled bottom and zippers. And belt suspenders. Not my favorite, but I think the design is fresh and different.

Jesus: fruit roll up! Lost me at the color, fabric, and when he uttered the words "chiffon train."

Ben: point shoulders for the win! Is that burnt orange? Salmon? Short dress in a fabric with a sheen. Not Charlie, thank goodness. Meh.

Jay: I didn't ask for flower pockets, but you gave them to me anyway. Heidi loves this dress. I'm less enthused. Don't like the fabric on top or the bottom.

Pamela: She must have just watched Pretty In Pink, because she is hitting us with a pink dress that looks like you could use the sleeves for wings. Fly away!

Emilio/Darius: his dress was very cute. A fun pattern that moved well down the runway. He somehow turned his potential disaster into a hit!

Jesse: off the shoulder plaid jacket and skirt with an off the shoulder blouse. Ambitious!

Ping: Throw on some fabric and scurry off down the runway! Oy.

Christiane: loved the blue on its own. Combined with the flower pattern? Not so much. This dress has mess written all over it.

Amy: corset with a bubble skirt. Not feeling it, but it looks well made.

Janeane: blouse and skirt that look like she made them at the last second...because she did! The construction of the skirt is not doing it for me. It bunches on the right and left down the front. Huh?

Mila: jacket, skirt, and shirt that reminds me of a graph grid. Too busy. I'm sure the judges will love it.

Anthony: halter top with a big ole' bunch of fabric on the side. Like a bow on your hip. Always flattering. OY.

Anna Marie: a fun gold dress that shines. Who doesn't love sparkles? Yes, that includes Robin.

Maya: allows her model to be attacked by a giant caterpillar. One has grown down the front of the dress and is not working for me.

Making it on to the next round: Amy, Anna Marie, Ben, Janeane, Jay, Jesse, Jonathan, Maya, Mila, and Pamela.

Anthony: Heidi likes the bottom, which holds the bow of fabric. Really, Heidi? Kors thinks the model could go to a garden party and steal champagne bottles by hiding them in the bow. Smart thinking! Functional fashion! Nina says no to the fabric and silhouette. Conflict! Nicole doesn't like the construction, especially in the back, but she gives him an A for effort. She's the Paula Abdul of this panel.

Seth Aaron: "Little Tokyo" is going to the MTV Video Music Awards. Someone give this guy a publishing deal. He's a storyteller! Nicole loves it from head to toe. Heidi agrees. Nina loves the construction of the back, which criss crosses and pops with a red zipper running to the hem. Kors thinks it's "pretty commercial" and that young girls would love to wear it.

Ping: Nicole loves the free flowing fabric. No kidding! Nina thinks the model looks uncomfortable. I agree. Kors thinks this is a great first try and shows who Ping is as a designer. Lazy! Heidi makes no comment, falling back on the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all." Oh, Heidi!

Jesus: Heidi thinks it's gross, calling out the seam before Kors can. Nina says she looks like a Hershey's bar. MMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks, Nina. Now I need chocolate. Nicole thinks some more thought is needed before this could be a kick ass dress. Well, he only had a day, Nicole! Sheesh.

Christiane: Nina likes the draping, but is not feeling the combo of fabrics. Kors doesn't think it looks effortless.

Emilio/Darius: Kors loves the simplicity. Nina loves the technical aspect. Nicole loves the full skirt and Heidi loves the construction. I love that he pulled this out in such little time. He obviously works well under pressure.

And guess what? Emilio/Darius wins the challenge! He has immunity for the next round. Phew!

Not living to see the next round is.....wait for it.....one more second.....Christiane. Those two fabrics killed her. Bye Christiane! It's never easy being the first to go, but she does it with grace. Best of luck!

Next week: another challenge and some drama. I think that's a safe bet.

1 comment:

yawp said...

Love this. I crave PR with a Pringle-like fever, and love catty rehashing. Well done. I will follow you.