Back to New York

Project Runway, how I've missed you!

Wait. You were barely gone. Well, at least you are back in NY. The Diva and I spent a lovely day there yesterday taking in a play and a stop at Cafe Lalo. Best of luck to the cast of Time Stands Still!

This season looks to be....interesting. We've already had someone crying! And it wasn't me. Save the drama for your mama while you kick back and enjoy the first episode rewind:

Seth Aaron is from Vancouver, WA and says he wants to be a "fashion icon." Oy. Doesn't everyone that applies to this show? He's 37 but looks older. Birth certificate, please! He's the first to arrive at Atlas Apartments and breaks a bed by jumping on it. Troublemaker! And is that a bandana I see around your neck? We are not off to a good start.

Next up is Janeane from Portland, OR. She is 27 and it's her first time in NY. It clearly is, as she didn't know how to maneuver a revolving door. Boom! Roasted! Oh, dear. Ummm, we are into the first minute of the show and I see tears. Janeane says showing at Bryant Park would change her life. Hmmmm......has she watched this show? Other than Christian, I don't see much media attention for the other winners.

In comes Ping from Chicago. She is 33 and shares the name of a character Michael Scott performs yearly during the Dundie Awards. Oh, Michael. Ping is a Physical Therapist by day and a designer by other hours of the day. Good for you, Ping! That takes commitment.

In walks Ben from Tampa who clearly isn't interesting. He gets about 10 seconds of airtime until we are onto Anthony from Atlanta. If the frills on the front of Anthony's button down didn't ping (whoops!) your gaydar, allow his admission that it is hell "being black and gay in the ghetto" to sound the alarm. I hear that! Wait. What? His ultimate goal is to design gowns for Miss USA and Miss Universe, but he feels that this is where he needs to be right now.

Jay from San Fran is walking his way into our world next. He is 31 and says he is not really interested in making money, he just wants to do what he loves. Sounds like being a designer is perfect for you, Jay.

Pamela is from Bucks County, PA and in need of a hairstyle. I won't hold it against her. I just got a haircut yesterday that was a few weeks overdue. Perhaps Heidi can show her a nice salon in the city. She says she was in advertising and went as far as she could with it (READ: I was passed over for a promotion by someone younger with a hipster hairstyle. Instead of making a doll of her and poking it with needles, I channeled my frustration into design). She's a Type A personality and I would watch for her to throw down before the season is over.

Anna Maria is 23 and from Milwaukee. She's really thin and barely gets to look out the window of one of the bedrooms before we see Jonathan, 29, from Providence, RI. He is an animal when it comes to competition (complete with a growl) and loves using hair gel to design his own hair. I'd say he has a good half a bottle in it right now.

Next we meet 24-year-old Jesse from Orlando. Ah, wonder if he likes theme parks. OH MY GOSH, he played Captain Jack Sparrow at Disney. Does that really pass as "acting" these days? I'll call Johnny and get back to you.

Mila from LA is 40 and a costume designer mostly for tv and movies. Fun! She has blunt bangs, as does her new roommate Maya. She is 21 and from NYC. Holla! Or whatever the kids say these days. They high five over their bangs and then probably exchange hair dye samples.

Christiane from LA walks in wearing a fun scarf. She comments on how nice the apartment is and then we get an "inside the cab" shot of Jesus (not Madonna's "boyfriend"), 21, from San Diego. He is young and confident and likes to sculpt his hair like my youngest brother. Oh, youth!

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!!!!!! Darius Rucker is here. Oh, no, it's just Emilio from NY. Seriously, when he first walked in I yelled out "Darius!" Well, this 41-year-old is lucky enough to look like the Hootie frontman turned Country star. You are already a winner, Emilio!

And finally we have Amy, 25, from Oakland, CA. I wonder how many of these Cali people tried out for last season and didn't make it. Hmmm. She says she likes being innovative and different. I think this is the reality show for you, Amy!

Phew. That was exhausting. Meet me on the roof!

Heidi and Tim are looking radiant. Heidi's excuse is pregnancy. What is Tim's? Oh, right. HIS AWESOMENESS. The designers sip champagne and talk about their design aesthetic. I wonder if Heidi and Tim ever want to push someone off the roof when they hear things like, "I'm an artist and I love texture." Maybe it's just me.

Day 1 begins! The gang meets Tim in Central Park, where there is some sort of flea market set up. Oh, nevermind. The fun folks at Mood set up fabrics on park benches to push the idea of a jogger being murdered far back into everyone's mind. Feel safe because it's daytime! The first challenge is for everyone to pick as much fabric as they can while wearing blindfolds. It isn't, BUT IT SHOULD BE! That would be challenging. Instead, the challenge is to create a design that represents who you are as a designer. YAWN. I mean, I get it being the first, but....couldn't they have just gone to Mood and picked their fabric? Why did some poor intern have to drape park benches? The designers have three minutes to pick what they want, which seems to horrify them as much as if Tim had said they were going to go without electricity at the apartment. Whiners!