Why?
Because she's dating John Mayer? HA! Would you be thrilled to be dating an a**hole? You would? Well, then you and Jen both need therapy. I mean, have you seen his tattoo arm? John, you're from Fairfield, CT. Just stop with the nonsense already.
Maybe it's for the best that Jen has John in her life, because she's going to need some comforting now that the Jolie-Pitt twins are gracing the cover of this week's People. And those kids are cute. Super-cute even. And don't say that Jen has so much going on in her life (shopping, dating an a**hole) that she doesn't have time for People or their covers and doesn't know when she'd even be near a newsstand.
You know that Courtney Cox-Arquette is on alert and probably going around to all of the Whole Foods in the LA area and buying every last copy so that poor, fragile Jen won't have to see those gorgeous babies and Brad and Ange looking happy and content. Code Red, Courtney. Code Red.
People and OK! Magazine partnered up and shelled out 14 million for the pics. All of the kids are present and accounted for, and Angie looks way too thin to have just had two children ripped from her womb (gross, I know. That's why I can't have children...well, that and not liking them). Brad looks good. Like, amazingly good. Better than he ever looked with Gwyneth or Jennifer. Sorry ladies, it's true.
People is out now. Buy it before Courtney does.
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