So, it's been forever since I last wrote and that is partly because I am LAZY and partly because as much as I love reading about how F*CKED UP celebrities are, I sometimes get tired of talking about them. Other than to myself. And, seriously, how many times can you read a story about Lindsay fighting with a sidewalk (or any other flat surface) before you are like, "WE GET IT! SHE'S A MESS! DO I HAVE ENOUGH CHANGE IN MY WALLET FOR A MILKY WAY BECAUSE IT'S ONLY 9:25AM AND I'M ALREADY OVER THIS DAY?"
Love you, Milky Way!
So, anyway, these last few weeks have been....hmmm....challenging. Let's go with that. On the bright side: my sister's engagement. On the bad side: an allergic reaction that still won't go away, my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer, and Bono hurting his back and postponement of the U2 tour until next year. Calgon, take us all away.
Last night it was 90 degrees in my apartment and I was tired and sweating like Lohan after an allnighter, and I turned to American Idol because even though I loathe hearing amateurs sing, I want to be up-to-date on my pop culture. Some dude that looked a little like a past winner (or runner-up or audience member) won and I thought he was going to either pass out or puke on Seacrest (HOW GREAT WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN?) and then Ryan's all "Beautiful Day!" and for a split second I thought he was trying to be funny because there was no way this generic doofus winner was going to start belting out WAIT. WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Lee DeWyze (yes, I had to look it up) started singing a U2 song. On my tv. It was the equivalent of having lemon juice poured on an open wound. I would like to blame that television moment for why I later woke up with another hive outbreak. Thanks, Lee! Luckily Bravo was running a Kathy Griffin stand up marathon and I watched her talk about Whitney (crack is whack!) Houston on Oprah until the Zyrtec kicked in......at 2:45am.
Beautiful day, indeed.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Part 2
Hi, Parsons! What a fabulous workspace.
We have some new sponsors this season! Brother is providing the sewing machines and HP is providing Touchsmart notebooks. Lucky! Now get to work, bitches!
Janeane is going to make a black cocktail dress. Zzzzzzzzzz..........oh, what? I'm sure that decision won't come back to bite her. Emilio is making a dress with "color, design, and fit." Good. You deserve to be here. Ping shows us that she likes to put her designs on and jump up and down in front of a mirror in them. The other designers shoot her a quick glance followed by chants of "CRAZY! CRAZY!" in their minds.
At the eight hours left mark, Tim brings the models in. Skin and bones for everyone!
Jesus utters the words "mermaid style" and I go to my dark place of hating mermaid dresses. His waif thinks they will win. We'll see. We get quick shots of the models sashaying in their scraps and I see pointy shoulderblades. Time for dinner!
After the models leave to buy smokes, Tim walks in to check and see who fooled the casting team with their audition tapes. A quick look around makes it seem like most everyone. Tricksters! Ping delights Tim by doing her best impression of an Olsen with her design. It's just layers of material complete with a hat. Fashion forward or just what someone should wear at 202 Highview in the winter?
MELTDOWN! Tim gives his most concerned look of the day to Janeane's cocktail dress. It puckers and doesn't lay flat. Fine for a day when you are bloated, but not for the runway. She scurries off to the bathroom to do some chants about how she deserves to be here and starts from scratch. With less than 8 hours? Time for an energy drink!
Anthony picked a fabric that looks like a garden exploded. Oy. Not feeling it. Tim tells him to stick with the lead actress and not force a supporting player. That is a nice way of saying that his main fabric is hideous. Let's not involve poor yellow.
Jesus used material that looks like a Mr. Hanky-colored fruit roll up. Eww. Tim is worried about the HUMONGOUS seam in the front. I'm worried as well. You know Kors will rip you a new one if he sees it, so why tempt the orange man???
Day of the runway show: scramble like your life depends on it! You know the deal. Everyone has something to add, subtract, and pray on. Will the fashion fairy help you survive to next week? Will everyone use the Bluefly.com wall thoughtfully? Will I start drinking during these recaps? Questions abound!
Emilio/Darius has a LOT to do. He is competing with Janeane for Most Likely To Let The Door Hit You In The Butt. And they still have to bring their models to the L'Oreal Paris Makeup Room and Garnier Hair Salon. And you know those stylists won't wait for you! Chop Chop!
Somehow everyone makes it to the runway. Heidi appears from behind the screen wearing a fresh pop of green in a sheer blouse. Sassy! She makes the designers salivate by telling them what they will win if they are crowned the winner at Fashion Week. Simmer down! We're only in Week 1.
Oh, Nicole Richie is the guest judge this week. She looks....homeless. I'm sorry, but those extensions and peasant outfit don't work. But she's creating her own fashion line, so what do I know. Oh, right. IT DOESN'T WORK!
Jonathan: short sleeveless dress that is very fun and youthful. Impeccable work.
Seth Aaron: short sleeveless plaid dress with a ruffled bottom and zippers. And belt suspenders. Not my favorite, but I think the design is fresh and different.
Jesus: fruit roll up! Lost me at the color, fabric, and when he uttered the words "chiffon train."
Ben: point shoulders for the win! Is that burnt orange? Salmon? Short dress in a fabric with a sheen. Not Charlie, thank goodness. Meh.
Jay: I didn't ask for flower pockets, but you gave them to me anyway. Heidi loves this dress. I'm less enthused. Don't like the fabric on top or the bottom.
Pamela: She must have just watched Pretty In Pink, because she is hitting us with a pink dress that looks like you could use the sleeves for wings. Fly away!
Emilio/Darius: his dress was very cute. A fun pattern that moved well down the runway. He somehow turned his potential disaster into a hit!
Jesse: off the shoulder plaid jacket and skirt with an off the shoulder blouse. Ambitious!
Ping: Throw on some fabric and scurry off down the runway! Oy.
Christiane: loved the blue on its own. Combined with the flower pattern? Not so much. This dress has mess written all over it.
Amy: corset with a bubble skirt. Not feeling it, but it looks well made.
Janeane: blouse and skirt that look like she made them at the last second...because she did! The construction of the skirt is not doing it for me. It bunches on the right and left down the front. Huh?
Mila: jacket, skirt, and shirt that reminds me of a graph grid. Too busy. I'm sure the judges will love it.
Anthony: halter top with a big ole' bunch of fabric on the side. Like a bow on your hip. Always flattering. OY.
Anna Marie: a fun gold dress that shines. Who doesn't love sparkles? Yes, that includes Robin.
Maya: allows her model to be attacked by a giant caterpillar. One has grown down the front of the dress and is not working for me.
Making it on to the next round: Amy, Anna Marie, Ben, Janeane, Jay, Jesse, Jonathan, Maya, Mila, and Pamela.
Anthony: Heidi likes the bottom, which holds the bow of fabric. Really, Heidi? Kors thinks the model could go to a garden party and steal champagne bottles by hiding them in the bow. Smart thinking! Functional fashion! Nina says no to the fabric and silhouette. Conflict! Nicole doesn't like the construction, especially in the back, but she gives him an A for effort. She's the Paula Abdul of this panel.
Seth Aaron: "Little Tokyo" is going to the MTV Video Music Awards. Someone give this guy a publishing deal. He's a storyteller! Nicole loves it from head to toe. Heidi agrees. Nina loves the construction of the back, which criss crosses and pops with a red zipper running to the hem. Kors thinks it's "pretty commercial" and that young girls would love to wear it.
Ping: Nicole loves the free flowing fabric. No kidding! Nina thinks the model looks uncomfortable. I agree. Kors thinks this is a great first try and shows who Ping is as a designer. Lazy! Heidi makes no comment, falling back on the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all." Oh, Heidi!
Jesus: Heidi thinks it's gross, calling out the seam before Kors can. Nina says she looks like a Hershey's bar. MMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks, Nina. Now I need chocolate. Nicole thinks some more thought is needed before this could be a kick ass dress. Well, he only had a day, Nicole! Sheesh.
Christiane: Nina likes the draping, but is not feeling the combo of fabrics. Kors doesn't think it looks effortless.
Emilio/Darius: Kors loves the simplicity. Nina loves the technical aspect. Nicole loves the full skirt and Heidi loves the construction. I love that he pulled this out in such little time. He obviously works well under pressure.
And guess what? Emilio/Darius wins the challenge! He has immunity for the next round. Phew!
Not living to see the next round is.....wait for it.....one more second.....Christiane. Those two fabrics killed her. Bye Christiane! It's never easy being the first to go, but she does it with grace. Best of luck!
Next week: another challenge and some drama. I think that's a safe bet.
We have some new sponsors this season! Brother is providing the sewing machines and HP is providing Touchsmart notebooks. Lucky! Now get to work, bitches!
Janeane is going to make a black cocktail dress. Zzzzzzzzzz..........oh, what? I'm sure that decision won't come back to bite her. Emilio is making a dress with "color, design, and fit." Good. You deserve to be here. Ping shows us that she likes to put her designs on and jump up and down in front of a mirror in them. The other designers shoot her a quick glance followed by chants of "CRAZY! CRAZY!" in their minds.
At the eight hours left mark, Tim brings the models in. Skin and bones for everyone!
Jesus utters the words "mermaid style" and I go to my dark place of hating mermaid dresses. His waif thinks they will win. We'll see. We get quick shots of the models sashaying in their scraps and I see pointy shoulderblades. Time for dinner!
After the models leave to buy smokes, Tim walks in to check and see who fooled the casting team with their audition tapes. A quick look around makes it seem like most everyone. Tricksters! Ping delights Tim by doing her best impression of an Olsen with her design. It's just layers of material complete with a hat. Fashion forward or just what someone should wear at 202 Highview in the winter?
MELTDOWN! Tim gives his most concerned look of the day to Janeane's cocktail dress. It puckers and doesn't lay flat. Fine for a day when you are bloated, but not for the runway. She scurries off to the bathroom to do some chants about how she deserves to be here and starts from scratch. With less than 8 hours? Time for an energy drink!
Anthony picked a fabric that looks like a garden exploded. Oy. Not feeling it. Tim tells him to stick with the lead actress and not force a supporting player. That is a nice way of saying that his main fabric is hideous. Let's not involve poor yellow.
Jesus used material that looks like a Mr. Hanky-colored fruit roll up. Eww. Tim is worried about the HUMONGOUS seam in the front. I'm worried as well. You know Kors will rip you a new one if he sees it, so why tempt the orange man???
Day of the runway show: scramble like your life depends on it! You know the deal. Everyone has something to add, subtract, and pray on. Will the fashion fairy help you survive to next week? Will everyone use the Bluefly.com wall thoughtfully? Will I start drinking during these recaps? Questions abound!
Emilio/Darius has a LOT to do. He is competing with Janeane for Most Likely To Let The Door Hit You In The Butt. And they still have to bring their models to the L'Oreal Paris Makeup Room and Garnier Hair Salon. And you know those stylists won't wait for you! Chop Chop!
Somehow everyone makes it to the runway. Heidi appears from behind the screen wearing a fresh pop of green in a sheer blouse. Sassy! She makes the designers salivate by telling them what they will win if they are crowned the winner at Fashion Week. Simmer down! We're only in Week 1.
Oh, Nicole Richie is the guest judge this week. She looks....homeless. I'm sorry, but those extensions and peasant outfit don't work. But she's creating her own fashion line, so what do I know. Oh, right. IT DOESN'T WORK!
Jonathan: short sleeveless dress that is very fun and youthful. Impeccable work.
Seth Aaron: short sleeveless plaid dress with a ruffled bottom and zippers. And belt suspenders. Not my favorite, but I think the design is fresh and different.
Jesus: fruit roll up! Lost me at the color, fabric, and when he uttered the words "chiffon train."
Ben: point shoulders for the win! Is that burnt orange? Salmon? Short dress in a fabric with a sheen. Not Charlie, thank goodness. Meh.
Jay: I didn't ask for flower pockets, but you gave them to me anyway. Heidi loves this dress. I'm less enthused. Don't like the fabric on top or the bottom.
Pamela: She must have just watched Pretty In Pink, because she is hitting us with a pink dress that looks like you could use the sleeves for wings. Fly away!
Emilio/Darius: his dress was very cute. A fun pattern that moved well down the runway. He somehow turned his potential disaster into a hit!
Jesse: off the shoulder plaid jacket and skirt with an off the shoulder blouse. Ambitious!
Ping: Throw on some fabric and scurry off down the runway! Oy.
Christiane: loved the blue on its own. Combined with the flower pattern? Not so much. This dress has mess written all over it.
Amy: corset with a bubble skirt. Not feeling it, but it looks well made.
Janeane: blouse and skirt that look like she made them at the last second...because she did! The construction of the skirt is not doing it for me. It bunches on the right and left down the front. Huh?
Mila: jacket, skirt, and shirt that reminds me of a graph grid. Too busy. I'm sure the judges will love it.
Anthony: halter top with a big ole' bunch of fabric on the side. Like a bow on your hip. Always flattering. OY.
Anna Marie: a fun gold dress that shines. Who doesn't love sparkles? Yes, that includes Robin.
Maya: allows her model to be attacked by a giant caterpillar. One has grown down the front of the dress and is not working for me.
Making it on to the next round: Amy, Anna Marie, Ben, Janeane, Jay, Jesse, Jonathan, Maya, Mila, and Pamela.
Anthony: Heidi likes the bottom, which holds the bow of fabric. Really, Heidi? Kors thinks the model could go to a garden party and steal champagne bottles by hiding them in the bow. Smart thinking! Functional fashion! Nina says no to the fabric and silhouette. Conflict! Nicole doesn't like the construction, especially in the back, but she gives him an A for effort. She's the Paula Abdul of this panel.
Seth Aaron: "Little Tokyo" is going to the MTV Video Music Awards. Someone give this guy a publishing deal. He's a storyteller! Nicole loves it from head to toe. Heidi agrees. Nina loves the construction of the back, which criss crosses and pops with a red zipper running to the hem. Kors thinks it's "pretty commercial" and that young girls would love to wear it.
Ping: Nicole loves the free flowing fabric. No kidding! Nina thinks the model looks uncomfortable. I agree. Kors thinks this is a great first try and shows who Ping is as a designer. Lazy! Heidi makes no comment, falling back on the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all." Oh, Heidi!
Jesus: Heidi thinks it's gross, calling out the seam before Kors can. Nina says she looks like a Hershey's bar. MMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks, Nina. Now I need chocolate. Nicole thinks some more thought is needed before this could be a kick ass dress. Well, he only had a day, Nicole! Sheesh.
Christiane: Nina likes the draping, but is not feeling the combo of fabrics. Kors doesn't think it looks effortless.
Emilio/Darius: Kors loves the simplicity. Nina loves the technical aspect. Nicole loves the full skirt and Heidi loves the construction. I love that he pulled this out in such little time. He obviously works well under pressure.
And guess what? Emilio/Darius wins the challenge! He has immunity for the next round. Phew!
Not living to see the next round is.....wait for it.....one more second.....Christiane. Those two fabrics killed her. Bye Christiane! It's never easy being the first to go, but she does it with grace. Best of luck!
Next week: another challenge and some drama. I think that's a safe bet.
Back to New York
Project Runway, how I've missed you!
Wait. You were barely gone. Well, at least you are back in NY. The Diva and I spent a lovely day there yesterday taking in a play and a stop at Cafe Lalo. Best of luck to the cast of Time Stands Still!
This season looks to be....interesting. We've already had someone crying! And it wasn't me. Save the drama for your mama while you kick back and enjoy the first episode rewind:
Seth Aaron is from Vancouver, WA and says he wants to be a "fashion icon." Oy. Doesn't everyone that applies to this show? He's 37 but looks older. Birth certificate, please! He's the first to arrive at Atlas Apartments and breaks a bed by jumping on it. Troublemaker! And is that a bandana I see around your neck? We are not off to a good start.
Next up is Janeane from Portland, OR. She is 27 and it's her first time in NY. It clearly is, as she didn't know how to maneuver a revolving door. Boom! Roasted! Oh, dear. Ummm, we are into the first minute of the show and I see tears. Janeane says showing at Bryant Park would change her life. Hmmmm......has she watched this show? Other than Christian, I don't see much media attention for the other winners.
In comes Ping from Chicago. She is 33 and shares the name of a character Michael Scott performs yearly during the Dundie Awards. Oh, Michael. Ping is a Physical Therapist by day and a designer by other hours of the day. Good for you, Ping! That takes commitment.
In walks Ben from Tampa who clearly isn't interesting. He gets about 10 seconds of airtime until we are onto Anthony from Atlanta. If the frills on the front of Anthony's button down didn't ping (whoops!) your gaydar, allow his admission that it is hell "being black and gay in the ghetto" to sound the alarm. I hear that! Wait. What? His ultimate goal is to design gowns for Miss USA and Miss Universe, but he feels that this is where he needs to be right now.
Jay from San Fran is walking his way into our world next. He is 31 and says he is not really interested in making money, he just wants to do what he loves. Sounds like being a designer is perfect for you, Jay.
Pamela is from Bucks County, PA and in need of a hairstyle. I won't hold it against her. I just got a haircut yesterday that was a few weeks overdue. Perhaps Heidi can show her a nice salon in the city. She says she was in advertising and went as far as she could with it (READ: I was passed over for a promotion by someone younger with a hipster hairstyle. Instead of making a doll of her and poking it with needles, I channeled my frustration into design). She's a Type A personality and I would watch for her to throw down before the season is over.
Anna Maria is 23 and from Milwaukee. She's really thin and barely gets to look out the window of one of the bedrooms before we see Jonathan, 29, from Providence, RI. He is an animal when it comes to competition (complete with a growl) and loves using hair gel to design his own hair. I'd say he has a good half a bottle in it right now.
Next we meet 24-year-old Jesse from Orlando. Ah, wonder if he likes theme parks. OH MY GOSH, he played Captain Jack Sparrow at Disney. Does that really pass as "acting" these days? I'll call Johnny and get back to you.
Mila from LA is 40 and a costume designer mostly for tv and movies. Fun! She has blunt bangs, as does her new roommate Maya. She is 21 and from NYC. Holla! Or whatever the kids say these days. They high five over their bangs and then probably exchange hair dye samples.
Christiane from LA walks in wearing a fun scarf. She comments on how nice the apartment is and then we get an "inside the cab" shot of Jesus (not Madonna's "boyfriend"), 21, from San Diego. He is young and confident and likes to sculpt his hair like my youngest brother. Oh, youth!
STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!!!!!! Darius Rucker is here. Oh, no, it's just Emilio from NY. Seriously, when he first walked in I yelled out "Darius!" Well, this 41-year-old is lucky enough to look like the Hootie frontman turned Country star. You are already a winner, Emilio!
And finally we have Amy, 25, from Oakland, CA. I wonder how many of these Cali people tried out for last season and didn't make it. Hmmm. She says she likes being innovative and different. I think this is the reality show for you, Amy!
Phew. That was exhausting. Meet me on the roof!
Heidi and Tim are looking radiant. Heidi's excuse is pregnancy. What is Tim's? Oh, right. HIS AWESOMENESS. The designers sip champagne and talk about their design aesthetic. I wonder if Heidi and Tim ever want to push someone off the roof when they hear things like, "I'm an artist and I love texture." Maybe it's just me.
Day 1 begins! The gang meets Tim in Central Park, where there is some sort of flea market set up. Oh, nevermind. The fun folks at Mood set up fabrics on park benches to push the idea of a jogger being murdered far back into everyone's mind. Feel safe because it's daytime! The first challenge is for everyone to pick as much fabric as they can while wearing blindfolds. It isn't, BUT IT SHOULD BE! That would be challenging. Instead, the challenge is to create a design that represents who you are as a designer. YAWN. I mean, I get it being the first, but....couldn't they have just gone to Mood and picked their fabric? Why did some poor intern have to drape park benches? The designers have three minutes to pick what they want, which seems to horrify them as much as if Tim had said they were going to go without electricity at the apartment. Whiners!
Wait. You were barely gone. Well, at least you are back in NY. The Diva and I spent a lovely day there yesterday taking in a play and a stop at Cafe Lalo. Best of luck to the cast of Time Stands Still!
This season looks to be....interesting. We've already had someone crying! And it wasn't me. Save the drama for your mama while you kick back and enjoy the first episode rewind:
Seth Aaron is from Vancouver, WA and says he wants to be a "fashion icon." Oy. Doesn't everyone that applies to this show? He's 37 but looks older. Birth certificate, please! He's the first to arrive at Atlas Apartments and breaks a bed by jumping on it. Troublemaker! And is that a bandana I see around your neck? We are not off to a good start.
Next up is Janeane from Portland, OR. She is 27 and it's her first time in NY. It clearly is, as she didn't know how to maneuver a revolving door. Boom! Roasted! Oh, dear. Ummm, we are into the first minute of the show and I see tears. Janeane says showing at Bryant Park would change her life. Hmmmm......has she watched this show? Other than Christian, I don't see much media attention for the other winners.
In comes Ping from Chicago. She is 33 and shares the name of a character Michael Scott performs yearly during the Dundie Awards. Oh, Michael. Ping is a Physical Therapist by day and a designer by other hours of the day. Good for you, Ping! That takes commitment.
In walks Ben from Tampa who clearly isn't interesting. He gets about 10 seconds of airtime until we are onto Anthony from Atlanta. If the frills on the front of Anthony's button down didn't ping (whoops!) your gaydar, allow his admission that it is hell "being black and gay in the ghetto" to sound the alarm. I hear that! Wait. What? His ultimate goal is to design gowns for Miss USA and Miss Universe, but he feels that this is where he needs to be right now.
Jay from San Fran is walking his way into our world next. He is 31 and says he is not really interested in making money, he just wants to do what he loves. Sounds like being a designer is perfect for you, Jay.
Pamela is from Bucks County, PA and in need of a hairstyle. I won't hold it against her. I just got a haircut yesterday that was a few weeks overdue. Perhaps Heidi can show her a nice salon in the city. She says she was in advertising and went as far as she could with it (READ: I was passed over for a promotion by someone younger with a hipster hairstyle. Instead of making a doll of her and poking it with needles, I channeled my frustration into design). She's a Type A personality and I would watch for her to throw down before the season is over.
Anna Maria is 23 and from Milwaukee. She's really thin and barely gets to look out the window of one of the bedrooms before we see Jonathan, 29, from Providence, RI. He is an animal when it comes to competition (complete with a growl) and loves using hair gel to design his own hair. I'd say he has a good half a bottle in it right now.
Next we meet 24-year-old Jesse from Orlando. Ah, wonder if he likes theme parks. OH MY GOSH, he played Captain Jack Sparrow at Disney. Does that really pass as "acting" these days? I'll call Johnny and get back to you.
Mila from LA is 40 and a costume designer mostly for tv and movies. Fun! She has blunt bangs, as does her new roommate Maya. She is 21 and from NYC. Holla! Or whatever the kids say these days. They high five over their bangs and then probably exchange hair dye samples.
Christiane from LA walks in wearing a fun scarf. She comments on how nice the apartment is and then we get an "inside the cab" shot of Jesus (not Madonna's "boyfriend"), 21, from San Diego. He is young and confident and likes to sculpt his hair like my youngest brother. Oh, youth!
STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!!!!!! Darius Rucker is here. Oh, no, it's just Emilio from NY. Seriously, when he first walked in I yelled out "Darius!" Well, this 41-year-old is lucky enough to look like the Hootie frontman turned Country star. You are already a winner, Emilio!
And finally we have Amy, 25, from Oakland, CA. I wonder how many of these Cali people tried out for last season and didn't make it. Hmmm. She says she likes being innovative and different. I think this is the reality show for you, Amy!
Phew. That was exhausting. Meet me on the roof!
Heidi and Tim are looking radiant. Heidi's excuse is pregnancy. What is Tim's? Oh, right. HIS AWESOMENESS. The designers sip champagne and talk about their design aesthetic. I wonder if Heidi and Tim ever want to push someone off the roof when they hear things like, "I'm an artist and I love texture." Maybe it's just me.
Day 1 begins! The gang meets Tim in Central Park, where there is some sort of flea market set up. Oh, nevermind. The fun folks at Mood set up fabrics on park benches to push the idea of a jogger being murdered far back into everyone's mind. Feel safe because it's daytime! The first challenge is for everyone to pick as much fabric as they can while wearing blindfolds. It isn't, BUT IT SHOULD BE! That would be challenging. Instead, the challenge is to create a design that represents who you are as a designer. YAWN. I mean, I get it being the first, but....couldn't they have just gone to Mood and picked their fabric? Why did some poor intern have to drape park benches? The designers have three minutes to pick what they want, which seems to horrify them as much as if Tim had said they were going to go without electricity at the apartment. Whiners!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Sass and sequins
I believe we are assured of at least one of those things as Season 7 of Project Runway kicks off tonight at 10pm on Lifetime.
Are you ready for the drama? The backstabbing? The sewing machines that are never threaded correctly? Nina Garcia giving an eye roll? Tim Gunn looking concerned?
Well, get yourselves ready. You have a few hours.
Yours truly will be giving you weekly recaps of all the madness a new set of designers are sure to bring. Here's how it will work: a new episode will air on Thursday. I will post my recap by Sunday night.
Now, you may be asking, "Celebrity Skewer, why can't I get a recap of a Thursday night show on Friday?" And my response will be, "Because you are annoying and don't deserve one." And I'll mean it.
Make it work, bitches!
Are you ready for the drama? The backstabbing? The sewing machines that are never threaded correctly? Nina Garcia giving an eye roll? Tim Gunn looking concerned?
Well, get yourselves ready. You have a few hours.
Yours truly will be giving you weekly recaps of all the madness a new set of designers are sure to bring. Here's how it will work: a new episode will air on Thursday. I will post my recap by Sunday night.
Now, you may be asking, "Celebrity Skewer, why can't I get a recap of a Thursday night show on Friday?" And my response will be, "Because you are annoying and don't deserve one." And I'll mean it.
Make it work, bitches!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Tim Gunn: Actor and Mentor
This week, we will see both!
Last night, Tim Gunn appeared on How I Met Your Mother, playing the role of Barney's tailor. I had completely forgotten that he was going to appear in the show's 100th episode. Shame on me!
Neil Patrick Harris posted a pic of the two when the episode was filming and called Gunn the "Best Guest Star EVER!"
http://hollywooddame.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/tim-gunn-on-how-i-met-your-mother-photo.jpg
I mean, really. Wouldn't you love to grab a drink with these two and get the dish on why Cobie Smulders looked so awful in last night's episode??? (The Diva claims she has looked busted all season.)
And this Thursday, Tim returns to mentor sassy designers on the Season 7 premiere of Project Runway. Thankfully, they are back in NY after a turn in LA last season. Wasn't feeling it, personally. Although I liked some of last season's designers, the LA locale was not conducive to the feel of the show. It belongs in NY. Like Derek Jeter and World Series Championships. Oh, snap!
Look for recaps of Season 7 right here on this very site. That's right! I will walk you through the ups, downs, meltdowns, side eyes, and hideous fabric that makes for a season of Project Runway.
Auf Wiedersehen!
Last night, Tim Gunn appeared on How I Met Your Mother, playing the role of Barney's tailor. I had completely forgotten that he was going to appear in the show's 100th episode. Shame on me!
Neil Patrick Harris posted a pic of the two when the episode was filming and called Gunn the "Best Guest Star EVER!"
http://hollywooddame.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/tim-gunn-on-how-i-met-your-mother-photo.jpg
I mean, really. Wouldn't you love to grab a drink with these two and get the dish on why Cobie Smulders looked so awful in last night's episode??? (The Diva claims she has looked busted all season.)
And this Thursday, Tim returns to mentor sassy designers on the Season 7 premiere of Project Runway. Thankfully, they are back in NY after a turn in LA last season. Wasn't feeling it, personally. Although I liked some of last season's designers, the LA locale was not conducive to the feel of the show. It belongs in NY. Like Derek Jeter and World Series Championships. Oh, snap!
Look for recaps of Season 7 right here on this very site. That's right! I will walk you through the ups, downs, meltdowns, side eyes, and hideous fabric that makes for a season of Project Runway.
Auf Wiedersehen!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
All the best in 2010
Loyal readers, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your continued support and dedication to this site. All of us here at Celebrity Skewer would be nothing without you. That includes our IT, Accounting, and Legal Departments, as well as interns, PAs, and our resident Diva.
We look forward to a successful 2010. (Can you say 'Project Runway recaps?')
We would also like to send heartfelt congratulations and best wishes to country music aficionado and loyal reader, Erin. She and her fiance, Ryan, are getting married this weekend. What a way to kick off the new year! All the best to you both!
We look forward to a successful 2010. (Can you say 'Project Runway recaps?')
We would also like to send heartfelt congratulations and best wishes to country music aficionado and loyal reader, Erin. She and her fiance, Ryan, are getting married this weekend. What a way to kick off the new year! All the best to you both!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Peace on earth and goodwill towards men
It's that time of year to look back on the past 12 months and reflect on how far we've come as an individual, a community, and a nation.
Well, I'm much too lazy to do that. But, in honor of the season of giving, I present to you a moment in time of one of the greatest friendships that ever was. It was born of the same profession, bad hair, and poor clothing choices. And please pay special attention to the World's First Cellphone being used by one of the participants.
Without further ado (and at the request of The Diva):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVDRYCrmyMU
Well, I'm much too lazy to do that. But, in honor of the season of giving, I present to you a moment in time of one of the greatest friendships that ever was. It was born of the same profession, bad hair, and poor clothing choices. And please pay special attention to the World's First Cellphone being used by one of the participants.
Without further ado (and at the request of The Diva):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVDRYCrmyMU
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
My My
How time flies.
Well, loyal reader(s), it has been a while since my last post. Since then, the Yanks won a World Series, I got a haircut, and Tiger Woods drove without shoes on.
Crazy times!
I am throwing some ideas around in my head and trying to figure out what I want to do with this blog. Perhaps I will move away from the celebrity aspect, as there are so many others doing it and spending money on pictures! I mean, talking about how bad Britney's weave still is can be fun, but wouldn't you like a visual? I thought so.
More to come....no really. Promise.
Well, loyal reader(s), it has been a while since my last post. Since then, the Yanks won a World Series, I got a haircut, and Tiger Woods drove without shoes on.
Crazy times!
I am throwing some ideas around in my head and trying to figure out what I want to do with this blog. Perhaps I will move away from the celebrity aspect, as there are so many others doing it and spending money on pictures! I mean, talking about how bad Britney's weave still is can be fun, but wouldn't you like a visual? I thought so.
More to come....no really. Promise.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Yes, I'm alive
I've just been consumed with playoff baseball.
The Yankees are taking a 3-2 series lead back to Da Bronx tomorrow night with Andrew Eugene Pettitte on the mound. Andy is probably flipping through his "Power For Living" book as we speak, so I want to send him some good vibes and best wishes.
Love you, Andy!
A lot has been happening in the world of entertainment over the past few weeks. Let's recap, shall we?
Lindsay has bigger lips. Nicky Kidman, too. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. Not a good look for either of you. Brings more attention to your faces, and, really, not a good idea. At all.
Sienna Miller has landed on Broadway (and more than a few men, I'm guessing) as she stars in After Miss Julie. Oy. Reviews focused on her looks, always a nice, condescending way of saying, "Ummmm....best stick to breaking up marriages, ho."
The Kardashians have fake married people, gotten knocked up by d-bags, and reconciled with their football player boyfriends. I'm exhausted! No wonder Bruce Jenner needs so much plastic surgery. He must not get any sleep with all of those bitches fighting for the spotlight. Pipe down, hags!
Jon and Kate have fought and fought and fought in the media (are they the PA version of the Lohan Family?) and Jon has continued to make poor clothing decisions. My hope is that the twins take the younger kids and run away. This has the makings of a nice Disney film as they are taken in by a kind, sane, rational family that has enough money to pay for all of their therapy bills. Good luck, kids!
A shady family made people think their son was trapped in a flying balloon. It was riveting drama. Sadly, we were all duped. Luckily, no one was hurt. Although, there are now allegations of spousal abuse and child endangerment and who knows where this will all lead. All I know is that no sane family would subject themselves to the tv show Wife Swap, and that should have been our first clue that something was not quite right. Also, naming your son Falcon.
I enjoyed a delicious red velvet cupcake from Crumbs bakery. I highly recommend it.
Ashley Simpson-Wentz got her ass fired from Melrose Place. Oh, Ash. She'll now have more time to spend with her husband and child. And not eat.
Celebrities did things that annoyed me. They are too numerous to mention, but just know that I know you know who you are. And I'm very disappointed in all of you.
Well, I hope you feel you have been caught up with all that is vital and news- worthy. If not, please keep it to yourself. If, however, you feel your life has been enriched by this blog entry, feel free to send baked goods or cash to my home.
Go Yanks!!!!!!!
The Yankees are taking a 3-2 series lead back to Da Bronx tomorrow night with Andrew Eugene Pettitte on the mound. Andy is probably flipping through his "Power For Living" book as we speak, so I want to send him some good vibes and best wishes.
Love you, Andy!
A lot has been happening in the world of entertainment over the past few weeks. Let's recap, shall we?
Lindsay has bigger lips. Nicky Kidman, too. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. Not a good look for either of you. Brings more attention to your faces, and, really, not a good idea. At all.
Sienna Miller has landed on Broadway (and more than a few men, I'm guessing) as she stars in After Miss Julie. Oy. Reviews focused on her looks, always a nice, condescending way of saying, "Ummmm....best stick to breaking up marriages, ho."
The Kardashians have fake married people, gotten knocked up by d-bags, and reconciled with their football player boyfriends. I'm exhausted! No wonder Bruce Jenner needs so much plastic surgery. He must not get any sleep with all of those bitches fighting for the spotlight. Pipe down, hags!
Jon and Kate have fought and fought and fought in the media (are they the PA version of the Lohan Family?) and Jon has continued to make poor clothing decisions. My hope is that the twins take the younger kids and run away. This has the makings of a nice Disney film as they are taken in by a kind, sane, rational family that has enough money to pay for all of their therapy bills. Good luck, kids!
A shady family made people think their son was trapped in a flying balloon. It was riveting drama. Sadly, we were all duped. Luckily, no one was hurt. Although, there are now allegations of spousal abuse and child endangerment and who knows where this will all lead. All I know is that no sane family would subject themselves to the tv show Wife Swap, and that should have been our first clue that something was not quite right. Also, naming your son Falcon.
I enjoyed a delicious red velvet cupcake from Crumbs bakery. I highly recommend it.
Ashley Simpson-Wentz got her ass fired from Melrose Place. Oh, Ash. She'll now have more time to spend with her husband and child. And not eat.
Celebrities did things that annoyed me. They are too numerous to mention, but just know that I know you know who you are. And I'm very disappointed in all of you.
Well, I hope you feel you have been caught up with all that is vital and news- worthy. If not, please keep it to yourself. If, however, you feel your life has been enriched by this blog entry, feel free to send baked goods or cash to my home.
Go Yanks!!!!!!!
Friday, October 09, 2009
Open letter to The Office writers
Stop making hour-long episodes.
Stop writing Michael over-the-top inappropriate at weddings and other formal gatherings.
Stop playing Chris Brown music.
Stop making montages.
Sincerely,
Annoyed
Not thrilled with the Jim/Pam wedding AT. ALL.
Their (far too few) moments were sweet, but really??? with the dancing down the aisle? Ugh. Stop.
At least Boston lost and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was hilarious.
Stop writing Michael over-the-top inappropriate at weddings and other formal gatherings.
Stop playing Chris Brown music.
Stop making montages.
Sincerely,
Annoyed
Not thrilled with the Jim/Pam wedding AT. ALL.
Their (far too few) moments were sweet, but really??? with the dancing down the aisle? Ugh. Stop.
At least Boston lost and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was hilarious.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
We are cordially invited
Tonight's the night!
No, not the ALDS. That started last night. And the Yankees won. Despite Jorge and C.C. acting foolish in the early going. Uh-huh. Oh, boys. Thank goodness "Captain, My Captain" took control of the situation and lead by example.
Take a seat, Joe Mauer.
Anyway, tonight is the night for a wedding. And we don't even have to buy gifts! Good, because I don't get paid until next Thursday.
Tonight at 9pm, Jim and Pam will finally marry on The Office. It is an hour long episode that promises to be awkward, funny, uncomfortable, and sweet. It's JAM, y'all! And they have a baby on the way. Time to say "I Do" and sign up for Lamaze class.
I can remember back before the series started, when I was a loyal reader of E!'s "Watch with Wanda." Kristin Veitch, aka "Wanda," could not say enough good things about the American remake of the British workplace comedy. Not having seen the original, but knowing who Steve Carell was, I gave it a try.
It's been true, awkward love ever since.
The heart of the show has always been the relationship between Jim and Pam. In the original, it was Tim and Dawn. In both cases, it started as a case of unrequited love. And Jim/Tim were the characters that we as an audience rooted for to get the girl (who in both cases were engaged to guys that weren't good enough for them). In the original series, which lasted for only two seasons, SPOILER ALERT Tim and Dawn did not get together. Dawn actually moved to Florida with her fiance.
Then, the brilliant minds of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant made a Christmas Special that brought Dawn back to the office for a visit. What follows is pure gold. Rent the series if you haven't watched it yet. The humor is a bit more awkward, but the love story is just as sweet. Martin Freeman and Lucy Davis are every bit as perfectly cast as John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer.
The American version of the show is now in its sixth season. Fans had to wait three seasons for Jim and Pam to get together. Luckily, once together, there was none of the horrible break-up/make-up nonsense that plagues other shows. There were no long-lost daughters to contend with (yes, I am still bitter Amy Sherman-Palladino!!!), or prolonged misunderstandings just to drive up ratings. Just two people continuing to rely on each other to get through their workdays at Dunder Mifflin. But now they were dating and adorable and as nerdy as ever.
Tonight I look forward to the culmination of a relationship I have enjoyed watching grow every Thursday night. Raise a glass to the happy couple, sit back, and enjoy!
No, not the ALDS. That started last night. And the Yankees won. Despite Jorge and C.C. acting foolish in the early going. Uh-huh. Oh, boys. Thank goodness "Captain, My Captain" took control of the situation and lead by example.
Take a seat, Joe Mauer.
Anyway, tonight is the night for a wedding. And we don't even have to buy gifts! Good, because I don't get paid until next Thursday.
Tonight at 9pm, Jim and Pam will finally marry on The Office. It is an hour long episode that promises to be awkward, funny, uncomfortable, and sweet. It's JAM, y'all! And they have a baby on the way. Time to say "I Do" and sign up for Lamaze class.
I can remember back before the series started, when I was a loyal reader of E!'s "Watch with Wanda." Kristin Veitch, aka "Wanda," could not say enough good things about the American remake of the British workplace comedy. Not having seen the original, but knowing who Steve Carell was, I gave it a try.
It's been true, awkward love ever since.
The heart of the show has always been the relationship between Jim and Pam. In the original, it was Tim and Dawn. In both cases, it started as a case of unrequited love. And Jim/Tim were the characters that we as an audience rooted for to get the girl (who in both cases were engaged to guys that weren't good enough for them). In the original series, which lasted for only two seasons, SPOILER ALERT Tim and Dawn did not get together. Dawn actually moved to Florida with her fiance.
Then, the brilliant minds of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant made a Christmas Special that brought Dawn back to the office for a visit. What follows is pure gold. Rent the series if you haven't watched it yet. The humor is a bit more awkward, but the love story is just as sweet. Martin Freeman and Lucy Davis are every bit as perfectly cast as John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer.
The American version of the show is now in its sixth season. Fans had to wait three seasons for Jim and Pam to get together. Luckily, once together, there was none of the horrible break-up/make-up nonsense that plagues other shows. There were no long-lost daughters to contend with (yes, I am still bitter Amy Sherman-Palladino!!!), or prolonged misunderstandings just to drive up ratings. Just two people continuing to rely on each other to get through their workdays at Dunder Mifflin. But now they were dating and adorable and as nerdy as ever.
Tonight I look forward to the culmination of a relationship I have enjoyed watching grow every Thursday night. Raise a glass to the happy couple, sit back, and enjoy!
Thursday, October 01, 2009
A tribute
It is with a heavy heart (and a stomach full of leftover rice) that I inform all of my loyal readers (especially you, George Glass!) that The Diva will no longer be recapping The Hills for this website.
I know. I know. It's a dark day.
Actually, it's Cloudy with a Chance of (Tofu) Meatballs.
But seriously, folks, our Diva has determined that she can no longer subject her intellect to a show that has none. Watching a group of overpaid brats whine, pout, pretend to work, whine, pout, eat dinner, go to clubs, pretend to have problems, and give each other the side eye was just too exhausting. I mean, Justin Bobby brought too much drama for one Diva to recap! Time for a nap.
Not to mention that with Penn State football and New York Yankee baseball to watch, there is very little time for nonsense. Tis the season to be true to your school and Minka Kelly's boyfriend. Bitches and homeless-looking boys will have to live fake lives without the Diva's stink eye. Let's see how long they last!
I'm sure we will hear from The Diva again before too long. Perhaps she will grant us an exclusive interview about what she plans on buying her sister for Christmas (cash means love). Fingers crossed!
Godspeed, Diva.
I know. I know. It's a dark day.
Actually, it's Cloudy with a Chance of (Tofu) Meatballs.
But seriously, folks, our Diva has determined that she can no longer subject her intellect to a show that has none. Watching a group of overpaid brats whine, pout, pretend to work, whine, pout, eat dinner, go to clubs, pretend to have problems, and give each other the side eye was just too exhausting. I mean, Justin Bobby brought too much drama for one Diva to recap! Time for a nap.
Not to mention that with Penn State football and New York Yankee baseball to watch, there is very little time for nonsense. Tis the season to be true to your school and Minka Kelly's boyfriend. Bitches and homeless-looking boys will have to live fake lives without the Diva's stink eye. Let's see how long they last!
I'm sure we will hear from The Diva again before too long. Perhaps she will grant us an exclusive interview about what she plans on buying her sister for Christmas (cash means love). Fingers crossed!
Godspeed, Diva.
Friday, September 25, 2009
SNL season premiere
Ugh. Meghan Fox is hosting.
Don't let that scare you. Trannies need work, too! I know many have compared her to Angie Jolie, but I think that is an insult to Angie (and isn't Jennifer Aniston in charge of all Angie insults?)....unless she's down with the drag.
More importantly, U2 is the musical guest. Last time they performed on the show, Amy Poehler was so excited she cried. I hope she is there tomorrow night.
Larry, please wear a white tee. Thanks.
On a completely different note, I was happy to read that one of my favorite character actresses, Amy Aquino, has been elected as SAG Secretary-Treasurer. Amy played the pivotal role of Dr. Toni Pavone on Felicity from 2000-2002. What a pistol! She told it like it was, and wouldn't let Benjamin Covington get away with just being cute. She meant business! And she would blow smoke in your face to prove that she was not having any of your nonsense.
Congrats to Amy.
Don't let that scare you. Trannies need work, too! I know many have compared her to Angie Jolie, but I think that is an insult to Angie (and isn't Jennifer Aniston in charge of all Angie insults?)....unless she's down with the drag.
More importantly, U2 is the musical guest. Last time they performed on the show, Amy Poehler was so excited she cried. I hope she is there tomorrow night.
Larry, please wear a white tee. Thanks.
On a completely different note, I was happy to read that one of my favorite character actresses, Amy Aquino, has been elected as SAG Secretary-Treasurer. Amy played the pivotal role of Dr. Toni Pavone on Felicity from 2000-2002. What a pistol! She told it like it was, and wouldn't let Benjamin Covington get away with just being cute. She meant business! And she would blow smoke in your face to prove that she was not having any of your nonsense.
Congrats to Amy.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
She makes it too easy
I can't stand Jennifer Garner.
True story.
Her "oh golly" attitude grated ever since she dropped Michael Vartan for Benji Affleck. My Sidney Bristow was dead to me, as was Jen's appeal. NEXT!
Last night, in a segment on Jay Leno's show entitled "Earn Your Plug," she had to name the starting lineup of the Boston Red Sox while wearing a Yankees cap (she's not worthy) and holding a framed photo of Derek Jeter (again, not worthy).
J Gar decides to be "cute" by wearing the cap backwards (Uh, you are no Luke Danes!) and stating that Jeter was her "least favorite Yankee." Say what, ho? Is it because he doesn't freebase steroids like Papi or display full on roid rage like her beloved Youk? Bitch, please. Go buy some Rogaine for your husband and shut it.
Varty, she did you a favor.
True story.
Her "oh golly" attitude grated ever since she dropped Michael Vartan for Benji Affleck. My Sidney Bristow was dead to me, as was Jen's appeal. NEXT!
Last night, in a segment on Jay Leno's show entitled "Earn Your Plug," she had to name the starting lineup of the Boston Red Sox while wearing a Yankees cap (she's not worthy) and holding a framed photo of Derek Jeter (again, not worthy).
J Gar decides to be "cute" by wearing the cap backwards (Uh, you are no Luke Danes!) and stating that Jeter was her "least favorite Yankee." Say what, ho? Is it because he doesn't freebase steroids like Papi or display full on roid rage like her beloved Youk? Bitch, please. Go buy some Rogaine for your husband and shut it.
Varty, she did you a favor.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Office returns tonight
Season 6? Amazing.
Tonight at 9:00, The Office returns with a season that will undoubtedly bring a lot of changes to Dunder Mifflin. Jim knocked up Pam, and those two crazy kids are getting hitched this season.
Karen who?
*30 Rock returns next month, so don't fret when you see SNL on for the next few weeks. Liz Lemon will be giving us some more deal breakers before you know it.*
Enjoy the return of Thursday Night comedy!
Tonight at 9:00, The Office returns with a season that will undoubtedly bring a lot of changes to Dunder Mifflin. Jim knocked up Pam, and those two crazy kids are getting hitched this season.
Karen who?
*30 Rock returns next month, so don't fret when you see SNL on for the next few weeks. Liz Lemon will be giving us some more deal breakers before you know it.*
Enjoy the return of Thursday Night comedy!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
After Hancock, it was time to head back to the hotel to regroup, recharge, and watch a few minutes of The Rachel Zoe Project. Oh, the drama!
That show is hilarious because it involves people that think forgetting nipple tape the day of an awards show is the most horrific thing in the history of the world. The horror! Forget homelessness, AIDS, poverty, and famine. If Eva Mendes doesn't have the right pair of shoes for a red carpet, well, expect Armageddon and take cover with some Valium. It is one of the funniest hours on television. And it isn't supposed to be.
After trying to figure out where to eat that wouldn't require a reservation, we settled on D4 Irish Pub and Cafe. Fabulous grilled veggie sandwich! Yummy. Our very nice waiter couldn't understand why we would spend so much money to see U2. *smack* Less tip for you, buddy. Kidding!
Then we were off to the show. Hailed a cab and dealt with some Soldier's Field traffic. Understandable. And just happy that we didn't have to deal with parking. So nice. Took about 20 minutes and then we were just walking with the masses. Weather was perfect and everyone was in a good mood.
We missed Snow Patrol, which wasn't a big deal. I liked their first album, but haven't really followed them since. Now it was just a matter of waiting for Bono and the boys.
The lights went down at 8:50 and Larry Mullen, Jr. walked out to his drum kit. AAHHHHH! I love you, Larry! Larry is my type of guy: he calls Bono on his b.s. and stays out of the spotlight. Plus, he's cute! And he seems to never age. Is he a robot?
The band played until 11:00, giving us new material from their latest album, as well as all-time favorites. It was a good mix, although I could live without ever hearing "Pride" or "Sunday Bloody Sunday" again. I'm sorry, but I've heard them since 1987. Yes, that's right. THE 80s. Gah, I'm old.
The crowd was fantastic. From the moment the lights went down, everyone was on their feet. Thank you! If I wanted to sit, I would have stayed in my apartment and listened to the cd (which was a suggestion from my father). People sang along and danced as only U2 fans can. There is always at least one guy at a U2 show that likes to pump his fist into the air. I don't understand it, but I observe it and laugh. All hail weirdos!
Well, that is recap of my fabulous Chicago getaway. This Sunday I am off to Gillette Stadium in MA to see the boys again. Hope the weather cooperates, as stadium shows don't provide cover. And I will GO OFF if it rains. True story.
More celeb-centered news to come!
That show is hilarious because it involves people that think forgetting nipple tape the day of an awards show is the most horrific thing in the history of the world. The horror! Forget homelessness, AIDS, poverty, and famine. If Eva Mendes doesn't have the right pair of shoes for a red carpet, well, expect Armageddon and take cover with some Valium. It is one of the funniest hours on television. And it isn't supposed to be.
After trying to figure out where to eat that wouldn't require a reservation, we settled on D4 Irish Pub and Cafe. Fabulous grilled veggie sandwich! Yummy. Our very nice waiter couldn't understand why we would spend so much money to see U2. *smack* Less tip for you, buddy. Kidding!
Then we were off to the show. Hailed a cab and dealt with some Soldier's Field traffic. Understandable. And just happy that we didn't have to deal with parking. So nice. Took about 20 minutes and then we were just walking with the masses. Weather was perfect and everyone was in a good mood.
We missed Snow Patrol, which wasn't a big deal. I liked their first album, but haven't really followed them since. Now it was just a matter of waiting for Bono and the boys.
The lights went down at 8:50 and Larry Mullen, Jr. walked out to his drum kit. AAHHHHH! I love you, Larry! Larry is my type of guy: he calls Bono on his b.s. and stays out of the spotlight. Plus, he's cute! And he seems to never age. Is he a robot?
The band played until 11:00, giving us new material from their latest album, as well as all-time favorites. It was a good mix, although I could live without ever hearing "Pride" or "Sunday Bloody Sunday" again. I'm sorry, but I've heard them since 1987. Yes, that's right. THE 80s. Gah, I'm old.
The crowd was fantastic. From the moment the lights went down, everyone was on their feet. Thank you! If I wanted to sit, I would have stayed in my apartment and listened to the cd (which was a suggestion from my father). People sang along and danced as only U2 fans can. There is always at least one guy at a U2 show that likes to pump his fist into the air. I don't understand it, but I observe it and laugh. All hail weirdos!
Well, that is recap of my fabulous Chicago getaway. This Sunday I am off to Gillette Stadium in MA to see the boys again. Hope the weather cooperates, as stadium shows don't provide cover. And I will GO OFF if it rains. True story.
More celeb-centered news to come!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Day 2: Or how I managed to stay awake past midnight
Saturday was full throttle action. Like a big budget summer movie, but with good characters and a plot.
We were out of the hotel by 9:15 and headed over to West Egg Cafe (recommended by The Diva). Very popular place, as we had about a 20 minute wait. Luckily, the food was good. Excellent raisin bread french toast.
Then we were off and running to Navy Pier. Amusement rides for the kids (and those that are kids at heart)could be seen as you make your way through a nice park. There was even a hot air balloon that looked like a vomit-inducing accident waiting to happen. No thank you.
We decided on the 90-minute boat tour through Mercury Cruiseline called the "Urban Adventure." It is a river and lake cruise, and for one price, you also get access to the John Hancock Tower. Great deal!
Our tour guide on the boat was a good enough guy, but it was like anytime you take a guided tour: everyone has to be a comedian. My dad would love this job! Give him a microphone and he'd be off and running. Through the course of the tour, we learned that our guide was the waiter for Tom Cruise and Rebecca DeMornay in their dining scene at the end of Risky Business. I wanted to raise my hand and ask questions about Tom, but it just wasn't the appropriate time.
After seeing the sights and enduring the swells (thanks, speedboats!), it was time for dry land and we were off to Millennium Park.
What fun. Crazies all around! There was a protest against Healthcare. Or they were for it but didn't like Obama's plan. Couldn't figure it out. There was also a group wearing masks and protesting Scientology. Xenu would not be happy! Apparently, it was Tom Cruise day in Chicago. Couldn't get away from mentions of him. Someone held a "Honk if you hate Scientology" sign. Honk!
Then we were off to the Hancock building. I was starting to lose steam, but once up on the 92nd floor, I got a 2nd wind. Beautiful views from all sides. David Schwimmer even provides an audio tour (and he isn't annoying). The scariest part was that one minute you would have a crystal clear view of the city, and the next, you would be enveloped by cloud cover. Or was it pollution? Spooky.
I'm breaking this up into two posts because I'm lazy. More tomorrow!
We were out of the hotel by 9:15 and headed over to West Egg Cafe (recommended by The Diva). Very popular place, as we had about a 20 minute wait. Luckily, the food was good. Excellent raisin bread french toast.
Then we were off and running to Navy Pier. Amusement rides for the kids (and those that are kids at heart)could be seen as you make your way through a nice park. There was even a hot air balloon that looked like a vomit-inducing accident waiting to happen. No thank you.
We decided on the 90-minute boat tour through Mercury Cruiseline called the "Urban Adventure." It is a river and lake cruise, and for one price, you also get access to the John Hancock Tower. Great deal!
Our tour guide on the boat was a good enough guy, but it was like anytime you take a guided tour: everyone has to be a comedian. My dad would love this job! Give him a microphone and he'd be off and running. Through the course of the tour, we learned that our guide was the waiter for Tom Cruise and Rebecca DeMornay in their dining scene at the end of Risky Business. I wanted to raise my hand and ask questions about Tom, but it just wasn't the appropriate time.
After seeing the sights and enduring the swells (thanks, speedboats!), it was time for dry land and we were off to Millennium Park.
What fun. Crazies all around! There was a protest against Healthcare. Or they were for it but didn't like Obama's plan. Couldn't figure it out. There was also a group wearing masks and protesting Scientology. Xenu would not be happy! Apparently, it was Tom Cruise day in Chicago. Couldn't get away from mentions of him. Someone held a "Honk if you hate Scientology" sign. Honk!
Then we were off to the Hancock building. I was starting to lose steam, but once up on the 92nd floor, I got a 2nd wind. Beautiful views from all sides. David Schwimmer even provides an audio tour (and he isn't annoying). The scariest part was that one minute you would have a crystal clear view of the city, and the next, you would be enveloped by cloud cover. Or was it pollution? Spooky.
I'm breaking this up into two posts because I'm lazy. More tomorrow!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Look what the windy city blew in
A new blog post!
Yes, it's been ages. One reader asked if I was too busy planning the Bluntski wedding to post. Sadly, my offer to help with the seating chart has not yet been acknowledged.
Actually, I had been getting ready for my trip to Chicago. Oprah and Gayle were going to give me an exclusive sit down interview, but then cancelled last minute. Bitches. Well, when one door closes, another opens. Guess I'll just have to settle on seeing U2 kick off their North American tour.
Yes, that'll do.
Chicago is a beautiful city. Arrived Friday afternoon and barely stopped until I was on the plane headed home yesterday (thanks for the motion sickness, Delta!!). Went with my friend Becky. That girl likes to sightsee. We saw a lot of the city in two short days. Thanks for not failing me, flip flops!
We checked into the hotel (Inn of Chicago) around 3 o'clock after taking the train from Midway. Very convenient, by the way. And cost-conscious. Thanks, Orange Line!
Then we were off and running. Walked down Michigan Ave. Turns out U2 gave an interview at the NBC building earlier in the day. Hmmm....inconvenient, boys. Next time, plan according to our schedule. Thanks.
Saw the Hershey Store with the 5lb Hershey bar. Created with me in mind? I somehow resisted. Walked up Lake Shore Drive. Gorgeous places with water views. There were 3-bedrooms starting at 1.4 million. Cheap. I would have asked Opes for a loan if she had bothered to show.
Then it was back to the hotel to rest like I'm 80. I was jet lagged!
Around 7 we headed off for dinner. Oh Friday night in Chicago. 90 minute waits will not do. So, we couldn't enjoy Giordano's. Then we walked, and walked, and tried our hand at LUXBAR (after passing Gibson's Steakhouse and seeing Jesse Jackson enjoying dinner outside). Thank you LUXBAR. Outstanding veggie burger. One of the best I've ever had. And a tasty ginger fizz didn't hurt, either (sounds gross, but tasted like peach). Tried to get a drink at Gibson's afterwards, but we scoped out the bar and only saw overdressed and annoying non-celebrities. Next!
More to come.....
Yes, it's been ages. One reader asked if I was too busy planning the Bluntski wedding to post. Sadly, my offer to help with the seating chart has not yet been acknowledged.
Actually, I had been getting ready for my trip to Chicago. Oprah and Gayle were going to give me an exclusive sit down interview, but then cancelled last minute. Bitches. Well, when one door closes, another opens. Guess I'll just have to settle on seeing U2 kick off their North American tour.
Yes, that'll do.
Chicago is a beautiful city. Arrived Friday afternoon and barely stopped until I was on the plane headed home yesterday (thanks for the motion sickness, Delta!!). Went with my friend Becky. That girl likes to sightsee. We saw a lot of the city in two short days. Thanks for not failing me, flip flops!
We checked into the hotel (Inn of Chicago) around 3 o'clock after taking the train from Midway. Very convenient, by the way. And cost-conscious. Thanks, Orange Line!
Then we were off and running. Walked down Michigan Ave. Turns out U2 gave an interview at the NBC building earlier in the day. Hmmm....inconvenient, boys. Next time, plan according to our schedule. Thanks.
Saw the Hershey Store with the 5lb Hershey bar. Created with me in mind? I somehow resisted. Walked up Lake Shore Drive. Gorgeous places with water views. There were 3-bedrooms starting at 1.4 million. Cheap. I would have asked Opes for a loan if she had bothered to show.
Then it was back to the hotel to rest like I'm 80. I was jet lagged!
Around 7 we headed off for dinner. Oh Friday night in Chicago. 90 minute waits will not do. So, we couldn't enjoy Giordano's. Then we walked, and walked, and tried our hand at LUXBAR (after passing Gibson's Steakhouse and seeing Jesse Jackson enjoying dinner outside). Thank you LUXBAR. Outstanding veggie burger. One of the best I've ever had. And a tasty ginger fizz didn't hurt, either (sounds gross, but tasted like peach). Tried to get a drink at Gibson's afterwards, but we scoped out the bar and only saw overdressed and annoying non-celebrities. Next!
More to come.....
Friday, August 28, 2009
Is Bluntski engaged?
Emily Blunt has been spotted around NYC sporting a big diamond on her left hand.
Guess The Office and Verizon ads pay well, young Krasinski.
And on another note, all of this recent Felicity talk makes me think that I'll be breaking out those dvds this weekend. I really miss that show.
To me, it's one of the greats. Terrific writing combined with a stellar cast of actors really took it to another level. And although I am not a fan of love triangles, I have to say that Keri and the two Scotts (which would make a superb band name) really brought out the best in each other. They played off of each other beautifully and made it one of the more difficult decisions for viewers. Whether you were Team Noel (*stink eye*) or Team Ben, you were witness to three tremendous actors showcasing their talents.
Gah! When is the reunion happening????
*UPDATE* John's rep has confirmed the engagement (not to me, silly. To People Magazine). Long live Bluntski!
Guess The Office and Verizon ads pay well, young Krasinski.
And on another note, all of this recent Felicity talk makes me think that I'll be breaking out those dvds this weekend. I really miss that show.
To me, it's one of the greats. Terrific writing combined with a stellar cast of actors really took it to another level. And although I am not a fan of love triangles, I have to say that Keri and the two Scotts (which would make a superb band name) really brought out the best in each other. They played off of each other beautifully and made it one of the more difficult decisions for viewers. Whether you were Team Noel (*stink eye*) or Team Ben, you were witness to three tremendous actors showcasing their talents.
Gah! When is the reunion happening????
*UPDATE* John's rep has confirmed the engagement (not to me, silly. To People Magazine). Long live Bluntski!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Minka Jeter?
Gah! What a horrible name. Keep your maiden name, Minka.
Rumors are swirling that Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly are secretly engaged and will be marrying this fall. Is that anything like "secretly doing 'roids?" It will come out sooner or later, kids!
Hmmm.....
An insider told good ole' Page Six that they are telling friends to save a date later this year, after baseball season ends.
Well, I'm free after mid-September, so I'd be happy to help with any arrangements that need to be tended to. I am definitely open to helping with the seating chart and greeting guests at the reception and making them sign the guest book. I promise to keep A-Rod away from the festivities by throwing vials of HGH and the telephone numbers of strippers across the street from the reception hall. He'll be too busy to do the electric slide or jump up on stage with Jay-Z and B to sing "Crazy in Love" when there are roids and hos to be had. Kate who?
In other news, when certain people remind me of the many faults of one Mr. Benjamin Covington, it makes me sad. He was far from perfect. *Sigh*
Team Ben, we need to hear from you.
Rumors are swirling that Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly are secretly engaged and will be marrying this fall. Is that anything like "secretly doing 'roids?" It will come out sooner or later, kids!
Hmmm.....
An insider told good ole' Page Six that they are telling friends to save a date later this year, after baseball season ends.
Well, I'm free after mid-September, so I'd be happy to help with any arrangements that need to be tended to. I am definitely open to helping with the seating chart and greeting guests at the reception and making them sign the guest book. I promise to keep A-Rod away from the festivities by throwing vials of HGH and the telephone numbers of strippers across the street from the reception hall. He'll be too busy to do the electric slide or jump up on stage with Jay-Z and B to sing "Crazy in Love" when there are roids and hos to be had. Kate who?
In other news, when certain people remind me of the many faults of one Mr. Benjamin Covington, it makes me sad. He was far from perfect. *Sigh*
Team Ben, we need to hear from you.
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