Fergie doll is trannylicious!

Fergie Ferg Duhamel had a meet-n-greet at The Grove in Los Angeles on Saturday for her new shoe line (stripper heels, anyone?).

At the event, she was presented with a doll made in her image. Her tranny image!

Fergie Ferg's doll looked like a cranked out Diva performing in the Meat Packing District in NYC....complete with red satin gloves, bustier, and garter belt. Whoop!

Luckily, this doll won't pee itself on stage.

New couple alert....sort of

Rumor swirling that Ryan Gosling is trying to get together with Natalie Portman. Interesting.

Although nothing will beat McGosling (Gortman? Gosman? Portling?), I am intrigued by this possible match. Both are actors with brains that do a lot of work promoting issues in other countries, such as Darfur. Also, they are both really pretty and should have lots of pretty babies.

Kidding! I'm not 12.

But, since Rachel McAdams is hanging out with Josh Lucas these days, I'd like to see Ryan move on and find happiness.

And, can we talk about Rachel and Josh? Ugh. Rachel...really? Josh Lucas was cute in Sweet Home Alabama, but that was back in 2002. Now he kind of looks like an uncle that would get drunk at holiday parties and embarrass you.

I'm not feeling that pairing at all.

A-Rod makes it too easy

Pick up Details magazine and see for yourself why the only person A-Rod could ever love is himself.

But please, do it on an empty stomach.

This story makes my life

Oh, Julia Roberts. You ass.

Last night, in NYC, the premiere of Duplicity. It stars Clive Owen and That Woman. The one with the huge mouth and hideous laugh. The one that was so taken with herself when she won an Oscar that she couldn't be bothered to acknowledge (MUCH LESS THANK) Erin Brockovich. You know Erin, right? The woman that Horsey played in a film entitled Erin Brockovich in order to win that gold statue. The one that did the honest-to-goodness work it took to expose corruption and help the families that suffered physically and emotionally because people thought they were dispensable.

I can still see her up on that stage (while watching in the death trap known as the Rodeway Inn in State College), laughing and howling and telling the orchestra conductor that she wasn't going to allow him to play her off stage.

I HATE HER SO MUCH.

Well, a few years back, Jules decided to try her hand at Broadway. She starred in "Three Days of Rain" and, no, I didn't buy a ticket. Even though I adore Paul Rudd. Ugh. Paul deserved so much better. So did Bradley Cooper (who I have since learned to love).

Roger Friedman gave a review of the play that Jules found less then complimentary. Boo hoo. So, when he tried to interview her on the red carpet last night, she was rude like you read about. Because GOD FORBID SOMEONE NOT FALL AT HER FEET AND THINK SHE IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD. She likes to hold a grudge. Classy, Jules. Very classy.

Now I know you are thinking, "But aren't you holding a grudge against Julia?" Yes. Yes, I am.

But I don't know Julia. I'll most likely never meet her. And even if I did, I can fake nice with the best of them. Jules, obviously, cannot.

Best of luck with the movie.

HATE!

I really can't stand Gwyneth Paltrow

That's all.

Transfixed by a weave

This week has been crazy. Audit at work has zapped all of my energy...and all of my computer time at work. RUDE! I mean, really.

Had a few minutes to look at some entertainment news and saw that Katie Holmes has done got herself a weave over in Tokyo. Little Joey Potter showed it off at the Valkyrie premiere. My my. Very correspondent glam. She could be a new co-host on The Daily 10.

Anything to get away from Tom, right?

She still looks beat as hell and shell shocked. Poor Katie. That contract is looking like a mistake, isn't it?

Maybe Suri will use her super Scientology powers to save you both. Fingers crossed!

Some FNL love

Did you miss 6's last episode of Friday Night Lights last Friday? Well, you should be shot.

Good stuff. Was never a huge Jason Street fan, but I was happy with how his storyline was wrapped up on the show. Let's not lie....the chances of him becoming a sports agent overnight are non-existent, but it's nice to think of this guy getting a break for once. I mean, he becomes paralyzed from the waist down playing football, his girlfriend and best friend sleep together (and are currently dating), and he's got a goofy haircut. I mean, really.

For a nice read, check out ew.com. Scott Porter, who played Jason, blogs about his final few months on the show. You can also read a blog from Gaius Charles, who played Brian "Smash" Williams on the show. Good stuff. Sounds like a great cast and crew make that show tick.

You should also check out April's Vanity Fair for an interview with Taylor Kitsch, who plays Tim Riggins. He'll next be seen on the big screen in Wolverine and likes to drop the 'f' bomb.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose.

Coincidence? I think not.

The Chicago Sun Times reported last week that things were not all sunshine and roses in the Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel relationship. Report was that Justin was growing tired of the relationship. Ugh. Could you imagine? They both seem so tedious and you can just tell Justin needs all the attention all the time. Good gracious, that would be a full-time job. Good thing she doesn't work much.

Well, fast forward to Saturday night on SNL. Justin cameos with Andy Samberg on Weekend Update. Funny enough. Suddenly, in struts Jessica as Jessica Rabbit. Oy. Was her butt padded? Hard to tell. Justin chewed the scenery as soon as she showed up, finishing off with a few robot dance moves that allowed him to exit stage left several seconds after her. You know he is always the last to leave. Must soak up every last bit of attention.

Gave me a stomach ache.

So, for now, Tiel (or is it Bimberlake?) is just fine.

At least as long as they can both get some airtime.

New Office tonight

Remember this show called The Office? It was on after the Superbowl this year. It's now in it's 5th season on NBC.

You know it. I know it. Does NBC know it?

The show has been knee-deep in a strange schedule this season: a new episode here, a few weeks of reruns there....annoying to say the least.

Well, the show returns tonight with it's Valentine's Day episode. You know, the day celebrated in February?

Yes, today is March 5th.

Clearly, Ben Silverman is passing around bongs instead of coherent ideas at the network. Great programming prowess!

The Office at 9, and an all-new 30 Rock at 9:30.

Speaking of, did you catch Tina on Jimmy Fallon? Stellar.

Lock up your little boys, London!

Because Michael Jackson is going to invade this summer! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!

MJ is getting a huge paycheck of 300 million dollars for 30 shows at London's 02 arena. Say what now? That is ridiculous. In these tough economic times, how can the Pervy One be worth that much?

Can he still sing? Have you seen pics lately? He looks like he can barely stand. And that nose. Oh, that nose.

Hey, with enough spectacle he can probably lip sync and no one would care. Look at little Brit's concert comeback. The girl did not sing live once. ONCE. Not one time in last night's comeback kick-off in New Orleans. But there were dancers! And a three ring circus! Sigh.

That is why I spent money renewing my subscription to U2.com. For a chance to get pre-sale tickets when the boys tour this year, it's worth it. They can sing. LIVE. Yes, what a novel concept.

Save a seat for me, boys.

U2 on Letterman and Little Jimmy grows up

In support of their new cd, No Line On The Horizon, U2 will be on David Letterman this week. Every night this week, in fact. Set those TiVos and DVRs and eat a potato in honor of the Irish.

Will Bono sport some new eyeliner? Will Larry role his eyes? Will Edge wear a new skully? Will Adam be relevant? This is the week for answers!

The cd drops tomorrow and you should all Itune it like it's hot.

In equally exciting news, Mr. James Fallon takes over the Late Show on NBC tonight. With Conan's move to LA to take over The Tonight Show, there was room in the 12:30am slot for a new voice. Look no further than Jimmy. Not Jimmy from Seinfeld, but a good one just the same. I wish Jimmy only the best and look forward to his interviews with Tina Fey (tomorrow) and one half of Bluntski, Ms. Emily Blunt, next week. Good luck, Jimmy!

Speaking of good wishes, I would like to extend a very happy 'Congratulations!' to loyal reader Erin on her engagement. All the best to you! According to Mike Passero, taupe is the new white. Words of wisdom! I am quite certain you will have a stylish, sassy wedding and reception knowing that you have The Hills recapper, and resident Diva, on your side.

Too many diet pills

That's what I'll blame for this mess I just read about regarding Jennifer Love Hewitt, or 'Love.' Gag.

The newly single, out of her mind star of The Ghost Whisperer just celebrated her 30th birthday by dressing up as Audrey Hepburn and having breakfast at Tiffany's.

Good grief, Holly Golightly!

I know JLH starred as Hepburn in a tv movie about her, but that was just an acting role. From a long time ago. No one thought you did a good job, anyway. Leave poor Audrey's memory alone!

Looks like Ross got out just in time.

The Jolie-Pitts enjoy Broadway

Fresh out of their front row seats at the Oscar's, the Brange took 4 of their six children to see The Little Mermaid in NYC last night.

They grow up so fast, don't they? Maddox is now 7, Pax is 5, Ms. Zahara is 4, and Shiloh is 2. Six kids under 8? I need a nap just thinking about it.

Brange is in town while Angie films Salt. Tom Cruise was once attached to the project, but the producers went a different way and made the lead a woman. I don't really see why Tom had to be let go. Boom! Roasted!

Oh, it feels good to laugh.

A tranny back on the market

And her name is Megan Fox.

I'm sorry, but she even admitted it on an E! pre-show. The tranny thing, I mean. Girl wears way, WAY too much makeup. Tone it down. Would neutrals kill you?

Anyway, she and David Silver himself, Brian Austin Green, have ended their two-year engagement. According to People Mag, they 'remain friends.'

Uh-huh.

My guess is that Megan didn't appreciate BAG lifting her eyeliner for parties. Did you see those shots of him at the FOX party last year? Someone was a little too happy to be out in public with kohl eyes. Know your place, BAG, and save it for Foxy.

Transformer fan boys, my brothers, and tranny-lovers everywhere can now keep their fingers crossed for a chance with Megan.

Best of luck.

The Lohan Diet for Lent?

Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone!

Is Lindsay fasting early for Lent?

It appears she exists only on Coke, Diet Coke, and cigarettes. And....maybe other stuff? Like...ummm...things that make you very thin.

You know, like stress and work.

UH-HUH. Good one, Linds.

Saw a video of Lindsay high on...work stress, I'm sure, talking about how she and Penny Cruz are friends. ACADEMY AWARD WINNER PENELOPE CRUZ.

Yes, I mean, just look at all the photos taken of those two together. Remember those photos of them hanging out? Having lunch, clubbing, supporting Sam at a DJ gig, etc.

If I were a betting woman, I'd put five dollars on another rehab trip soon.

I'm back...and I brought The Oscar's with me

Before I begin my many thoughts about last night's Oscar telecast, I just want to thank my loyal reader(s) for their thoughts and prayers while I was on leave from this blog. The rumor around Hollywood was that I was in rehab. That is not true. I was, however, in need of a break from reporting on Tinsel Town gossip. Sometimes it just gets to be too much. I was drained and exhausted. I mean, finding out that Jennifer Love-Hewitt has a bodyguard on the set of The Ghost Whisperer sent me over the edge. I mean...her? What? Sometimes Hollywood just skewers my sense of well-being and I need to retreat into the healing power of reruns of 30 Rock and the magical comedic touch of Tina Fey.

Deep breath. Let's begin.

OH MY GOSH, TINA WAS AT THE OSCAR'S. More on that later.

Let's start with the red carpet. This year, in an effort to maximize suspense (and draw more viewers to the actual telecast), the producers asked that not all presenters walk the red carpet. Say what? With a huh? Fine. Whatever. If it saved me from having to hear a few inane interviews conducted by Ryan Seacrest, I'd like to thank the Academy. Ha!

Miley was the first little chipmunk on the carpet. Oy. Her dress was too much. Designed by Zuhair Murad, it was bejeweled with what looked like fish scales. Is she just being Miley? Please. She's 16 going on 45, but said her dress was inspired by The Little Mermaid. Back to the Disney vault, pronto!

The big buzz on the carpet was whether or not The Brange and Maniston would cross paths. Didn't happen. WHYYY?????? Well, it was deliciously awkward during the ceremony, so I was rewarded later. Jenny A. skipped the red carpet, but The Brange did not. Brad looked great, but I'm wondering why Angie decided to leave the house looking like a woman in her mid-60s? That hair was horrible. It aged her dramatically. Don't get it. I mean, she has a zillion children, I know she's tired, but why take it out on her hair. She's always had great hair. Not last night. And would it kill her to eat? So thin. And didn't she used to have a bigger chest? She's lost weight everywhere. Loved her Elie Saab black strapless dress and emerald jewels, though.

Where is my Kate Winslet? Where? Oh, there. Totally killing it Grace Kelly style in her Atelier Yves Saint Laurent dress. Adore her. She really brought glam and fabulous style throughout the award season. And she has wrinkles! She get wrinkles around her eyes when she laughs and she is real and down-to-earth and I just love her.

Wait. What? I know my lenses have scratches and smudges, but did I really see what I thought I saw? MELISSA GEORGE on the red carpet? The woman that ruined Season 3 of Alias and made children weep and dogs howl in despair is on the red carpet? No. No. NO!!!! Ahem. Well, she was and she looked a mess, so there was some satisfaction. According to my brother, Rob, there is a lottery the celebs must enter to attend, and it was her year to win. Like how Gary Busey attended last year and scared the crap out of Jennifer Garner.

Penelope Cruz wore a white Pierre Balmain gown that was very princess-like. Not a fan of white, but she looked very pretty. Didn't like her hair, though, because her bangs were too heavy and split on her forehead strangely. Her jewels, from Chopard, were exquisite, though.

There's Anne Hathaway. I wish she had worn a jewel tone because she is even more pale than I am. Her strapless Armani Prive dress was quite stunning, though, and it fit her skeletal frame well. I'm sorry, but it's true! Girl needs to eat! C'mon, Annie!

Amy Adams looked stunning. She wore a crimson Carolina Herrera bustier dress with black silk satin. I like when redheads don't shy away from red. It really worked with her hair color and skin tone. What I could have done without was her Fred Leighton necklace, which not only looked like it weighted 1,000 pounds, but was too busy and took attention away from the dress. Less would have been more.

Beyonce in the house! Looking like she wore something from the Tina Knowles collection. GOOD GRIEF, CHARLIE BROWN, she was! Proving that she and her mother wouldn't know good taste if it sang to them, she wore a dress that could best be described as drapes in an asylum. Black dress. Busy gold flowers that overpower the dress. The House of Dereon needs to board up it's doors and hope for a tornado.

Paging good taste, STAT. Oh, thank goodness. Natalie Portman to save the day. Looked amazing. Lilac Rodarte pleated gown. Hair pulled up. So petite. My only problem is that she used a little too much bronzer on her face. Otherwise, flawless.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have major Sarah Jessica Parker issues. Besides loathing Carrie Bradshaw, I always found SJP to be a little too 'fake gracious' and gregarious. Don't know why she was ever considered a 'style icon,' because she always looks so overdone and tries to hard to be on the cutting edge. Last night was prom night for Cinderella. Her 'barely mint' Dior Couture gown made me cringe. And her hair added bulk around her long face. Nightmare all the way around.

Here's a question: When did Jessica Biel go tranny? She looked horrible last night! Stringy hair, strong makeup, and a white, strapless Prada gown. Actually, I am insulting trannies everywhere and I don't mean to.

Oh, Heidi. The Klum did not look her best last night. The woman is stunning, but her slicked do and origami Roland Mouret gown left me bewildered. She chose crimson (always a good color on her) to draw attention to the Heart Truth campaign that she is heavily involved in and wore the Diet Coke red dress charm bracelet she designed for the campaign. Good work Heidi, but not with the dress design. You're out!

Freida Pinto. Love her. If you haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire yet, run. So good. Freida is stunning. Didn't love her John Galliano dress last night. The cobalt blue was fab, but I didn't like the lace covering one arm. And her hair was pulled up and too mature. She's young and has beautiful hair. Could have done something stylish with it. She and Dev Patel were adorable, though. So sweet and kind with the young children from the movie. Oh my gosh, those kids were gorgeous and hilarious and so thrilled to be there. Did you see Ryan and Giuliana doing their best to embarrass Dev and Freida? Ugh. Are they dating???? What???? Freida is involved in a bit of a scandal regarding her fiance (or is it husband?) that she dumped recently. Need more details, but it is being played that she dumped his ass once the movie started winning awards. Say it ain't so, Freida!

Taraji P. Henson. Gorgeous! Her tiered ivory Roberto Cavalli gown killed. Flattered her figure and did not wear her, you know? Loved the hair, jewels and clutch. Perfect!

You know who surprised me the most? Alicia Keys. Not because she normally looks beat, but because she was there. She looked fabulous in her plum Armani Prive gown. Worked so well with her skin tone and her flowing locks worked perfectly.

Oh, wait. I was actually surprised by Robert Downey, Jr. as well. What elixir did he drink the night before, because he looked at least 20 years younger last night?!?! Fabulous.

Paging the tweens! It's Vanessa Hudgens. Oy. Not a big fan of feathers, so the ones glued to her bust were scaring me. Otherwise, the Marchesa strapless black gown would have looked okay. Not great. Liked her earrings from Cathy Waterman, though.

Settle down, girls. Zac Effron and Robert Pattinson on the carpet. Don't get the appeal of either one (a metrosexual and a pale guy that looks like he doesn't bathe), but the gals love them! I won't mention which of my sisters likes the
High School Musical movies. Did I mention that I only have one sister? I'm glad I'm not a tween right now. The boy choices are limited.

Now, on to the show!

Love Hugh Jackman. He's Australian! He's Wolverine! He sings! He dances! He hosted The Tony's! I thought he did a great job last night. I know I was scratching my head when I heard the announcement that he would be hosting, but I think it was a nice shakeup for the show. He's very personable, very talented, and very cute. Worked for me. The opening number was fun and MY GOSH, he has a lot of energy. Very classy and worked that tux beautifully. Also, I hear that Ricky Gervais and Seth Myers wrote his jokes. Uh, yeah. Can't go wrong there. Love them!

Could have done without the musical number in the middle. Save it for Broadway! At least Beyonce wasn't in her horrible gown. But I'm just not a fan of musicals in general, so it was time to fast forward.

Something I didn't fast forward through? TINA FEY. Tina Fey and Steve Martin presenting Adapted and Original Screenplays. Did I mention Tina? She looked amazing in her Zac Posen silver dress. Great shape for her. And she's funny. Did you know Tina is funny? You should. Everyone in the world should. I bet she had a hand in writing their sketch (if not writing the whole thing).

Congrats to Penelope Cruz for winning Best Supporting Actress for Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Her speech was cute and she looked nervous. The bangs still bugged me. Sorry, Penny!

Poignant moment alert! Heath Ledger won Best Supporting Actor for The Dark Knight. His father, mother, and sister accepted the award on his behalf. Very touching and I give them credit for doing it. Couldn't have been easy.

Did you know Kate Winslet has been nominated for six Oscars? Sixth time was the charm, as she finally won for her role in The Reader. OH MY GOSH, I love Kate. So cute when she asked her dad to whistle so she would know where he was sitting. Everyone was so happy for Kate. Her fellow actors (both older and younger than her) respect and admire her. Marion Cotillard (looking stunning) was clearly thrilled to be appointed as the former Best Actress winner to speak of Kate's performance this year. (In a fun twist, the Academy had previous winners in the acting categories (5 each) walk on stage and speak of each of this year's nominees. Last year's winner opened the envelope and announced this year's winner). Got that?
Kudos to you, Kate!

In the tightest race of the night, Best Actor, Sean Penn emerged with his 2nd Oscar. It seemed a two-man race between him and Comeback of the Year, Mickey Rourke. Sean took the time to push for equal rights for all people during his speech, even going so far as to say that those who voted for the ban on gay marriage should feel ashamed and anticipate "the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way of support." He also congratulated Mickey Rourke and called him "my brother."

Finally, the Best Picture was presented by Steven Spielberg. All hail Slumdog! So glad it won Best Picture. Didn't realize until this past weekend that it was originally going to go straight to dvd. Luckily, funding came through and it was released on the big screen. Wonderful film. Brilliant cast.

And that ends another award season. I'm exhausted. You? Congrats to all the winners and nominees.

Kate Winslet

She killed at the Globes. Oh, Kate.

So deserved. She's outstanding and it's about time she started getting the awards. Yes, the nominations are nice, but this woman is a great actor. People much less deserving have won awards....Julia Roberts, anyone? Uh, yeah. So give Kate all the awards and let her finally bring home an Oscar.

But last night it was her night to shine at the Globes. And she did. Two awards for two heralded performances. And her favorite men were on either side of her: Sam Mendes and Leo D. She looked radiant and owned the night. All hail Kate.

And you know Kate is loved by her peers when even Angie overlooked being referred to as "the other one." Seriously. If Anne Hathaway would have forgotten Angie's name on stage, Anne Hathaway would no longer be alive today. There would be dust where Anne once stood. Angie's bitch face from the Critics' Choice Awards still haunts Anne. I'm sure of it.

Maybe she's too afraid to eat. Anne, you must eat. You are way too thin.

The other highlight of the night? The Brange turning their back on Ryan Seacrest on live television. Like, completely ignoring his pleas for an interview. Did I mention that Ryan had to fly off his E! post and run after them? He physically left his post to go after The Brange, only to have security cut him off as he tried to impede on their photo ops. Gah! I can only imagine the tizzy he threw later on. Brad was even caught stopping to chat with Billy Bush on the carpet. BUT NO SEACREST? Sorry, Ryan. Brad Pitt respects Billy Bush more than you.

Oh my gosh, sad.

All Hail Queen Z

Zahara turns 4 today.

You know she told those other brats to bow down. She doesn't mess around.

Sydney Bristow pops out another child

And it's a girl! A sister for little Violet, who turned 3 last month.

Somewhere, Michael Vartan is breathing a sigh of relief and going about his business doing whatever he wants.

Where has the time gone?

Wasn't it just 2008?

Well, I am exhausted. Trying to drink more water and walk more during the day is very tiring.

Anyway, is anyone watching Bromance on MTV? Ugh. Brody Jenner is a nightmare. Tedious on The Hills, so it makes perfect sense to give him his own show. And don't get me started on Whitney Port. The City looks like a snoozefest. Mondays will never be the same.

Neil Patrick Harris is hosting SNL this week. Yes, please. LOVE him. So damn funny on HIMYM. I really hope he wins a Globe this Sunday. Well deserved.

The Jonas Brothers are presenting during the ceremony. Really? Gah. As Liz Lemon would say, "Youths!"

Speaking of Liz, there is a new 30 Rock this week. Can't wait. I've missed having new episodes to rewind during laughing fits. The Office returns all-new on the 15th.

Scrubs returns tonight at 9:00 on it's new home, ABC. Thank you for taking on this funny show and giving it the respect NBC never could, Steve McPherson! Now, if only you could respect me enough to air the final three Pushing Daisies episodes now and not make me wait until summer. Annoying, to say the least.

Also annoying? Trying to be healthy. I need to go on the Lohan diet.